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Sailing Partner / The Admiral is banned

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frich
Captain

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USA
418 Posts

Initially Posted - 07/23/2002 : 14:36:18

After 3 months of listening to the admiral complain of everything from "where are we going" to " why do I have to climb over the bow rail to board" she has given up on sailing, and is officially banned.

If anyone is in the patchogue area of Long Island and is without a boat for any reason, and would like to sail please contact me at frich1230@aol.com I would welcome the opportunity for a crew and maybe learn some about sailing being the novice i am.

Maybe I can get her back from the dark side?<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Edited by - on

cathluk
Admiral

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USA
513 Posts

Response Posted - 07/23/2002 : 16:42:57

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
After 3 months of listening to the admiral complain of everything from "where are we going" to " why do I have to climb over the bow rail to board" she has given up on sailing, and is officially banned.
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

Just a couple thoughts with absolutely no offence meant to anyone since I don't know either of you -

"Where are we going" - Where would she like to go? Maybe you can take turns deciding where to sail & what to do.

"Why do I have to climb over the bow rail to board" - That is a royal pain! My husband is 6'2" & has no problem. I'm 5'1" and its a big stretch. Can you back in where you can board on the stern from a finger dock?

Maybe your wife should take a basic sailing course. She might enjoy sailing more if she were more confident about her abilities and knew what was going on.

I'm distressed when I hear all this "admiral doesn't like to sail" talk. I can't imagine enjoying sailing nearly as much if Dan & I didn't sail together. One interesting point - we took up sailing together at the same time. I think a lot of problems stem from one partner being the dominant one on the boat & the other feeling like they're just ballast.

Cathy
"Blown Away"
'97 C250WK #253

Edited by - on

Clay
Deckhand

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USA
22 Posts

Response Posted - 07/23/2002 : 17:49:44

Yeah Frank, why does she have to crawl over the bow? <img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle>

I'm with Cathy - quote-"I'm distressed when I hear all this "admiral doesn't like to sail" talk."

Should we start a poll?

Clay
#5549 Savannah

Edited by - on

Ed Montague
Captain

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USA
499 Posts

Response Posted - 07/23/2002 : 18:56:03

The August SAIL magazine has a very good article with tongue in cheek. Basicly it looks at putting your nearest and dearest off sailing forever. These are his suggestions.
1. Make them sea sick!!!!
2. Bore them senseless.
3. Scare them to death.
The article claims that if you can do all three, you will never need to worry about having your family along again. If you have a chance read it and then have your wife read it. Discuss what she finds offensive and then for heavens sake change the situation. Sooner or later it will come down to the wife or the boat. I love both greatly and never ever want to be in a position to make that choice.<img src=icon_smile_8ball.gif border=0 align=middle>

Ed Montague on 'Yahoo'
1978 #765 SK, Stnd, Dinette ~_/)~

Edited by - on

OJ
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4382 Posts

Response Posted - 07/23/2002 : 19:31:42

The bow rail issue reminds me of the first night we got a transient dock space. The was no moon and the dock numbers were well worn. We decided that the 1st mate would step off the bow onto a finger dock and use a flashlight to find our assigned slip. Just as I saw her silhouette step downward I put the motor into reverse and gently throttled. What I didn't see was that the rear lip of her other tennis shoe got caught under the lifeline! Next time I looked forward I saw this tangled figure hanging onto the bottom side the bow pulpit. Seeing that there was no immediate danger, I teasingly asked, "Deb is that you?" to which she yelled "yes!" I then asked "what are you doing?" to which she yelled "get me back to the dock!"
She recounts that story now with a frown and a smile.

Edited by - oJ on 07/24/2002 09:04:43

Edited by - on

dlucier
Master Marine Consultant

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Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
7583 Posts

Response Posted - 07/23/2002 : 21:55:27

Unfortunately, my Admiral feels the same way about sailing as I do about shopping in a mall,...dread going, not thrilled being there, and can't wait to get out. I wish it weren't the case, but just as I won't ever love shopping(unless it's at West Marine or BoatUS), my wife will never love sailing and the truth of the matter is, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with that".

Now to be fair, she will go sailing with me occasionally and will have fun, but she likes it when the wind is nonexistent, there isn't a ripple on the water, and the amount of heel doesn't exceed 5 degrees. The vast majority of the sailboats in my marina are manned by singlehanded husbands and that's okay. This arrangement is far better than someone trying to force another person into doing something that they don't want to do. Now that's the real shame.

Don Lucier, North Star
C25 SR/FK

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 07/23/2002 : 21:59:02

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
...to which she yelled "get me back to the dock!"
See recounts that story now with a frown and a smile.
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>
OJ, you are one lucky SOB!

I've climbed on a C'25 off a floating dock over the bow rail, and can't even imagine Barb doing it. Our boat is backed into a slip with no finger docks, so after a season of climbing over the stern rail, I cut the whole center section out of it. I should probably get a raplacement tube welded in just above the traveler, but that's secondary to being able to have Barb and guests our age board comfortably.

I share other couples' dilemmas about sailing experience and enjoyment... I've sailed various things since I was about 8, while Barb only started as a "passenger" on the Sunfish we bought a few years into our marriage. She has always insisted on defering to me as the "skipper" on a boat, but I've worked on having her take the tiller and control the sheets to understand the relationships. She still doesn't like heeling past about 20 degrees, but inside of that, she can relax even on the leeward side, so we're making progress. In fairness, our previous boat (of almost 20 years) was an unballasted Daysailer that really could go over, although it never did, even in 30+ knots and 4-5' square-wave seas which I never subjected her to.

I'd love to have her attend a sailing school--either apart from or with me--to gain confidence and comfort... But between her interests and our time (both working well beyond full-time), that won't happen soon. So I go easy on the conditions, and sometimes we take the boat out without raising the sails. Being out in the harbor with a purring Honda, looking at boats and watching the sun set, is a fine thing!

So, Frich, maybe I can suggest that you find some opportunities to make it a pleasant experience for her. If you have a roller furler, just pull out the jib some evening and enjoy the view. At the dock, figure out SOME solution. (Mine was a hacksaw.) Can you back in? Then get together with Val and go out crashing waves and burying the rail! <img src=icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle>

Dave Bristle - 1985 C-25 #5032 SR-FK-Dinette "Passage" in SW CT

Edited by - Dave Bristle on 07/23/2002 22:03:58

Edited by - on

cathluk
Admiral

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USA
513 Posts

Response Posted - 07/24/2002 : 08:16:42

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
Unfortunately, my Admiral feels the same way about sailing as I do about shopping in a mall,...dread going, not thrilled being there, and can't wait to get out. I wish it weren't the case, but just as I won't ever love shopping(unless it's at West Marine or BoatUS), my wife will never love sailing and the truth of the matter is, "there is absolutely nothing wrong with that".
Don Lucier, North Star
C25 SR/FK

<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

True. Some people just aren't sailors, but a proper introduction to the sport helps with making an informed decision. If that is the case I'm sure Val would love the company (isn't he in that part of Long Island?).

Cathy
"Blown Away"
'97 C250WK #253

Edited by - on

Shelby
Navigator

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USA
155 Posts

Response Posted - 07/24/2002 : 12:25:07

I have always had an interest in sailing. My wife on the other hand did not, although she likes water sports. I wanted to take ASA lessons and asked that she take them with me (about 3 years ago) and in that way we could learn to sail together. She did and we took all of them including the bareboat training. After that we spent some time renting boats at the local marina which included C25s and 250s as well as a 30 footer at Lake Tahoe. Being new to sailing on one occasion we took out a 250 WB. The sailing was pretty good until all of a sudden the wind got fairly gusty (20-25)and the boat did a servere round up into the wind. At that point water came over the port side of the boat and into the cockpit. We both ended up in the cockpit floor. This was scary for both of us (lost the bean dip). This happened a couple of more times that day and finally we gave up and went back to the marina. After that we decided to purchase our own C25 which we thought might be more stable and probably is. I was reassured from reading the forum that the older 250 WB had the tendency of severly rounding up in wind gusts. Also, I now know how to handle those situations. This made me feel better but my wife never quite got over it. What we do now is go out in everything under 10 kts and she has,to date, refused to take the helm (gets frazled when we start to heel a little or the wind shifts). I figure the best way to get her reassured is to continue with this type of sailing (which she doesn't mind) and slowly get her confidence up enough to take the helm in the future. I just don't like the thought that she is the one doing all of the work (sheet handling) when I mostly sit back and watch. I also would like her to enjoy our time out.

I have been thinking about finding another training class which may help with development of the comfort level in stronger winds and heeling situations. Any body know if these are available. We didn't run into strong winds during our initial ASA training.

Shelby
"Third S"
'82 C25
#3208
SKSR

Edited by - on

Tony Dillon
Navigator

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USA
168 Posts

Response Posted - 07/24/2002 : 13:49:25

Try to take a class in late fall or early spring while the winds are up. Both of the ASA classes Marge & I took were in the "off season"...our first day sailing was with 25 knots in the San Juans. Marge told me if she could have walked on water she would have left me that day.

After a week out with the Orcas and the beauty of the islands she was hooked and ready to go again. She is still a little skidish about heeling, but she is getting better.

Tony Dillon
Mental Floss

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Response Posted - 07/24/2002 : 16:40:42

This is an interesting subject. My husband had never sailed when I met him. I had been living aboard for five years and first started sailing at 10 or 12. I have two other lady friends with boats that had to introduce their significant others to the sport (both C-27 owners). It's funny that we didn't hook up with one of you singlehanded guys instead. Our experience with our spouses mirrored yours' with the Admirals initially. They have all caught on now though I notice they tend to defer a lot of decisions to us ladies and we're still the primary helmspeople (?). Maybe because the boats actually belong to the ladies. When my guests get uncomfortable with the heeling angle I just suggest they take a break below where they feel more secure. My daughters actually enjoy overnighting more than my husband. The older girls like the tanning opportunity and relaxing on the foredeck though they're pretty good sailors too. The little one (7 yr.) is a great helmsperson and totally gutsy. She could practice a little more caution! But the boat is a perfectly natural environment to her, she doesn't even react when things go flying off the shelves down below. So I guess these three girls will be added to the pool of ladies who enjoy sailing. We sometimes have a family sailing day without my husband when he choses to go play golf with his buddies and we have a great time! Almost all my close female friends like to sail, most of us have grown up on the water though, so I guess that's the biggest factor. We learned to sail dinghies and sunfish first so heeling is fine for us. Maybe that's what everyone should learn first to be skilled and comfortable. By the way, are we all "Admirals"?

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Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 07/24/2002 : 21:48:37

Kathleen: I agree strongly on learning on a Sunfish--it may be the best teaching boat ever invented. You learn all of the fundamental principles--most importantly, how to control the heel. If you make a mistake, you pull the boat up and take off again. I figured out how to step over the rail onto the dagger board and then back into the well as the boat came back up--never actually went into the drink! When you get it right, it's magic--skipping across the water like a flat rock! (Just don't hit a submerged stump--it's hell on the daggerboard trunk!)

Regarding significant others, I have a new challenge... Barb saw a Nordic Tug (www.nordictug.com) on the water last weekend, and now there're questions about when we might slip over to the Dark Side. I have to admit, they are.... uhhhhhhhh.... Never mind!

Dave Bristle - 1985 C-25 #5032 SR-FK-Dinette "Passage" in SW CT

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SailormanCGA72
1st Mate

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77 Posts

Response Posted - 07/25/2002 : 09:08:43

I don't know how I lucked out, but years ago when I was Commanding Officer of a ship out in Guam, my wife took sailing lessons while I was deployed so she could surprise me. I definitely was surprised. She enjoyed the lessons. She still likes to go sailing with me but like most Admirals does not take an active part in the actual handling of the craft. Her main occupation is a suntan with the stern warning to make sure I kept a good lookout. I would have little interest in sailing if my gal wasn't with me.

Edited by - on

MattL
Admiral

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USA
990 Posts

Response Posted - 07/26/2002 : 02:38:01

As I have said in the past, Brigitte has never been fond of sailing. Could be due to the big hole we got the second time out when that saber rammed us. She does like the C25. We haven't been in any major wind at our little Lake Yosemity, near Merced CA. But last week end we went to the High Sierra Regatta up at Hunington Lake, elevation 7000 that you get to in about 40 miles. She was kind of P.Od. the first day. I told her to go out with the crew and I would watch the kids, but dad is never safe enough around water. The second day one of the crew she trusts, a nurse where our youngest use to go to the doctor, said she would watch the kids.
In the first half of the race we saw a returning Moore 24 being towed with a broken mast, almost got rammed by a dozen Coronodo 15s (I swear the guy on the trapizes missed our motor by half an inch), saw a few capsizes. On the return half a bunch of boats flying spinnies hade great dificulty. One Holder capsized and sank, they were able to tow it to the docks and save the boat, Oh all were OK too. We had the rail down and I was told the water was hitting the winch.
Did I say it was windy. The wind here was very un predictable. The running comintary at the finish line directed everyone to watch a spinniker collaps with wind hitting it from the right and the left.

Brigitte had the biggest smile on her face the hole time. Now she says I want to learn more so I can do it myself.<img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

What I have learned is; be patient, dont force here to sail, be patient, let her learn at her own pace, be patient, have other knowledgable sailers go with you so she can see that yes you are doing the right thing and wont kill her, be patient, make sure she takes on responsibilities that she can master, be patient, introduce things slowly, and above all be patient. Oh having a great boat like a catalina 25 helps.<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

Matt/Brigitte Loeffler
E.C. Rider
Cat 25 86'
FK/SR _/)

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tinob
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1883 Posts

Response Posted - 07/26/2002 : 11:05:54

Hi Kathy,

Truth be known I'd love to have my Admirable Admiral sailing with me but as the fellow said, "she hates sailing as much as I hate shopping"...Heck I even considered changing the boats name to Fortunoff of Macy if it would entice her to come aboard, but it's not meant to be, DAGNABIT. The closest she ever got to water was from the top floor of a high rise overlooking the municipal pool. So what should I expect? Unfortunately it raises feelings of rejection. I keep telling myself that it's the boat she's rejecting but the little green monster gets harder to kick in the closet as time progresses.
Every time I come across a sailing person whose significant other is equally involved with the sport I'm thrilled for their union and sad at the reminder that it's not to be mine. On the bright side my ACTOR son going off to prep school this fall chose for his extra-curricular activities SAILING and X-COUNTRY RUNNING. So there's union of sorts.

Val on "CALISTA" #3936

Val Bisagni

Edited by - on

ssteakley
Captain

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USA
467 Posts

Response Posted - 07/26/2002 : 23:47:57

I am an admiral who has had most of the above characteristics on our 250. We have been intensely sailing for a little over a year. So, try these ideas they seem to work. Be patient,go in small steps for short periods of time with patience. I read an article about women and their goals...the point being to have a "prize" at the end of the hard day of sail or the time at the helm learning etc. The prize being dinner at a favorite restaurant, massage etc. Actually part of the fun is thinking up the prize during a 20+ heel. My skipper probably does not know this but I have found a way to sit and work the sheets and look perfectly straight ahead as if we were not in a 20+ heel. It can be done if enough time and prizes happen. Having other people on the boat to act as captain does help because the admiral's skipper will improve or look really, really wonderful to his admiral.....both work!
Lynn Steakley
Moon Chaser #385 250WK
(I had the Admiral write this because I could never do it Justice!)
Steve.......
PS Taking her on a bare boat Charter to the British Virgin Islands really helped too.

Edited by - on

John Mason
Admiral

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USA
687 Posts

Response Posted - 07/29/2002 : 13:24:39

I have a similar problem with a reluctant Admiral. The first time we went sailing together on the new purchase (last season) it was great. Sunny, nice wind, she even said she liked it. This was after getting worked up talking to her friends about sailing. They all seemed to hate it; the boat tips over, it's too scary. So she was scared to begin with.

Then we went out again. Too much wind, too much heel. I liked it; she hated it. This happened a few times and she mutinied (can an Admiral mutiny?). My fault entirely. Too much, too soon.

Then she would get on the boat if I promised to only motor, and she liked that. So the rest of the season we motored (at least she was on the boat).

But now I'm getting tired of motoring. So we talked about sailing and the first time when she enjoyed it. We made a deal: if the wind is as light or lighter than that first day, I can put up the sails; if it's windier, then we motor.

Last weekend we went out for the first time under the New Deal. We motored a lot because there was no wind. One morning I pulled up the anchor and unfurled the genny. There was barely any wind. First she was nervous, then she's looking at me, 'That's it? This is sailing?' Did this "lazy sailing" (just the genny) a few more times over the weekend, pointing out the positives - how quiet it is without the motor running, relaxing just hearing the sound of the water, etc.

So we are starting again. This time I'm paying attention to her comfort level and easing her into the sport. So far, so good.

John Mason - Ali Paroosa
1982 - FK/SR #3290

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 07/29/2002 : 15:12:45

John: Good recovery! If she's like my Admiral, pretty soon she'll be asking you to pull up the main and get the boat moving! I'm just starting to get that... Things like this are always better when they're asking for more! <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>

Do you have reefing set up? I know real men don't reef at under 15, but you can move nicely with a reefed main and modest headsail in 10-12 with very little heel. You could tuck in a reef before you go out, and await the eventual question: "Why don't we just use the whole sail?"

Another point on motoring... It's not intuitively obvious to the normal Admiral, but if you're bouncing around in the chop and the boat wakes, your boat will pitch and yaw a great deal less with the main up, whether or not there's a breeze. That's often why you see cruisers motoring with their mains up in still air--to dampen the boat wakes and make the ride more comfortable. In my experience, the jib/genny doesn't have as much effect as the main, possibly because of the position of the center of effort, the sail's attachment to the mast, and the centering effect of the mainsheet--but that may be my imagination.

Dave Bristle - 1985 C-25 #5032 SR-FK-Dinette "Passage" in SW CT

Edited by - Dave Bristle on 07/29/2002 15:18:23

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Buzz Maring
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1775 Posts

Response Posted - 07/29/2002 : 17:10:18

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
Things like this are always better when they're asking for more! <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>
... you can move nicely with a reefed main and modest headsail in 10-12 with very little heel. You could tuck in a reef before you go out, and await the eventual question: "Why don't we just use the whole sail?"

Dave ... you are one sly devil! <img src=icon_smile_evil.gif border=0 align=middle>

Another point on motoring ... if you're bouncing around in the chop and the boat wakes, your boat will pitch and yaw a great deal less with the main up, whether or not there's a breeze. That's often why you see cruisers motoring with their mains up in still air--to dampen the boat wakes and make the ride more comfortable. In my experience, the jib/genny doesn't have as much effect as the main ...

Dave Bristle - 1985 C-25 #5032 SR-FK-Dinette "Passage" in SW CT
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

That is GREAT info ... I'd never heard that before ... thanks!

Buzz Maring, C-25 SK/SR #68, "Freya"

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Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 08/01/2002 : 09:28:43

I have an entirely different problem. The Commodore and the Admiral(Harvey's fiance is the Commodore) Are both avid sailors. Within the next 2 years, both our family and Harve's family to-be fully expect some future America's cup sailors (in training) to be joining the crew. Our argument (and its already started) is Who will watch the kids and not get to go sailing.

I agree with everyone else, The Brass needs to enjoy and understand sailing and be involved in planning (even if its going nowhere slow). Plus they need to be able to board the vessel without doing Olympic Maneuvers. You would be surprised how many "expense reports" and invoices get approved by the high command when they too enjoy what you are doing.

dw

Duane Wolff
"The Flying Wasp"
C-25, #401 std,sk
Chief Measurer C-25/250 National Assn.
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b1ce23b3127cce9b043565af3d0000004010" border=0>

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Response Posted - 08/06/2002 : 12:13:15

Why does someone have to watch the kids? Don't you usually take them along? I am thrilled when my husband & I get to sail alone together because we really put the boat through her paces without interruption but our youngest daughter is usually along. This weekend we had young teen guests both days. We taught them all the basics of sailing and everyone took turns at the helm (10-15 kts). I am always impressed at how much more comfortable young people are learning to sail than adults. I think they are just basically less fearful because they are still physically naive. None of them was old enough to drive yet. They really caught on fast and loved it. I'm sure they'll all be willing crew in the future and we added 4 novice sailors to the rolls. It was really fun for us too!

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Champipple
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Response Posted - 08/06/2002 : 13:21:19

At least for the first two years they will be a tad young to sail...

I figure by age 3 we will be able to start letting them home alone to mow the lawn, clean the house and walk to dog.

dw

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cathluk
Admiral

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USA
513 Posts

Response Posted - 08/06/2002 : 14:53:37

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
At least for the first two years they will be a tad young to sail...

dw
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

Dwayne -

There are 2 families in our marinas whose children sailed only a few months before & after they were born. The one little 5 year old girl in the slip next to us the year we got our boat was more better with the dock lines than we were! Her little brother (around 2) was quite comfortable aboard. I miss them now that they've moved.

This year the couple 2 slips down had their 8 month old with them all week on vacation. Now they didn't do any long cruises, but they did overnight a couple nights. Obviously the sailing changes with little ones aboard, but if you introduce them to sailing early it will be just another part of their life before long.

Cathy
"Blown Away"
'97 C250WK #253

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OJ
Master Marine Consultant

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Response Posted - 08/06/2002 : 16:17:23

We have friends who planned each each of their two children's births to occur in March so nobody would miss a beat come launch time in April.

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RichardG
Admiral

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USA
990 Posts

Response Posted - 08/06/2002 : 17:58:31

Duane:

Don't give up so fast on sailing with your chilren. When my wife was pregnant with our first child, I was somewhat depressed because I assumed I would be forced to sell our boat. Then, while walking through the annual Minney's swap meet in Newport Beach, a vendor sold us the following book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0071560300/qid=1028669739/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-7634397-3826434#product-details. After we both read it, my spirits soared after my wife talked me out of selling the boat.

We now have two young girls who sail with us often.

<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b2df34b3127cce9c0e5f601ff60000004410" border=0> This was last year when Sarah was not quite 2 and Mary was about 5 weeks old.

RichardG 81 C25 SR/FK "Sanity"

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Response Posted - 08/07/2002 : 08:43:23

We have drifted to another topic;"children on board" but since we're here: My oldest daughter was born while we were living aboard our boat (33' Alden Ketch 1962/Wood then 36'Linge Sloop 1956/Wood). We lived aboard until she was eight. I think it was actually a very easy environment to raise a small child in but then I love boats, would rather be on the water than anywhere so I'm biased. My oldest daughter's name is Marina, by the way. We've known lots of liveaboards with babies and small children. You just babyproof your boat (easier than a house). In our case, Marina always wore a harness on deck, sailing or at anchor, as a baby. Myumi, our youngest daughter has sailed since she was born, too, but never lived aboard (so far). Since she is now 7 she just wears a life jacket. She wore a harness up until she was six. She takes the boat and sailing completely for granted. Usually she hangs out below reading or doing her other activities, comes up to take the helm occaisionally. If we have guests aboard she'll hang out on deck with them. Her favorite activity is when we anchor to swim. We sail about three times a week so she spends a lot of time sailing. She was definitely a distraction when she was younger, though, asking for a snack when we we in the midst of reefing or something! I think it's a great experience for children and good family time but if you find it too distracting when they are really small wait til they are four or so or bring someone along who will watch them while you concentrate on sailing. Your comfort level will also depend on the sailing conditions, of course.

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