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Admiral?

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osmepneo
Past Commodore

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USA
1420 Posts

Initially Posted - 11/07/2002 : 06:44:32

I'm wondering why so many refer to their spouse as the ADMIRAL? It seems to me to be condescending and derrogatory. My wife, Char, has been a very significant part of my life for 37 years and I am overjoyed when she comes on the boat for a sail. So, I'm wondering why?

Don Peet
c25, 1665, osmepneo, sr/wk
The Great Sacandaga Lake, NY

Edited by - osmepneo on 11/07/2002 06:45:15

Edited by - on

pwhallon
Admiral

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USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 09:50:34

Hi,

Although it doesn't bother me, I haven't used that term to describe my wife. She and I describe each other much more colorfully. We have been together since 1982.

That's us in the front of the photo with our kids and her parents. "The fun bunch". That's an old photo. Our kids are 10 and 8 now. They're great fun.

<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b2cf26b3127cce91922adc729a0000001410" border=0>

I thought 'Admiral" was a friendly reference to wives as "the big boss", like an Admiral.

It reminds me of the old saying: " Im the Boss around here because my wife says so".<img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

I don't think it's meant to be rude.

P

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 10:08:58

No derogation intended, Don... In the Navy, the Captain is in charge of getting the boat from here to there. The Admiral decides whether, when, and where it's going, and how much will be spent. Sorta like some of us. <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle> My wonderful wife, Barb, has empowered me to buy Passage and to pour in too many boat units every year. In return, she looks forward to days on the water where, unlike home, just about everything is my responsibility. Like the Admiral on the bridge. <img src=icon_smile_cool.gif border=0 align=middle>
I should point out that she tacks and furls the genny, beautifully coils lines, and, before I led the main halyard aft, handled the engine and tiller while I hoisted and doused the main from the cabintop.

Dave Bristle - 1985 C-25 #5032 SR-FK-Dinette-Honda "Passage" in SW CT

Edited by - dave bristle on 11/07/2002 10:14:48

Edited by - on

OJ
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4382 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 12:10:44

This discussion reminds me of the time we came into Scudder's Marina on Pele Island (Lake Erie - Canada.) I was in the marina shower when Canadian customs came to our boat. They asked my wife for the name of the "master of the ship." She still has here nosed slightly out of joint over that one.
Yes, I can see the term admiral having a bit of a cynical connotation to it - I think it depends on what context it's being used. Could you imagine the things us guys get called on the all women sailors website - I'd probably be referred to as "jib boy."

Edited by - on

jm
Captain

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Canada
290 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 12:32:33

Don't flatter yourself there OJ - you'd probably be more like..
Bilge Boy..

<img src=icon_smile_tongue.gif border=0 align=middle>

Edited by - jm on 11/07/2002 12:33:54

Edited by - on

Ray Seitz
Captain

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USA
416 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 12:41:18

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>I'm wondering why so many refer to their spouse as the ADMIRAL? It seems to me to be condescending and derrogatory. <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

I do not think this is true at all, or meant to be that way by most of the people who use that term on this forum. I think Dave's explination says it all and I can't add anything other than one must rember that an admirals orders are final and to disobey would be mutiny<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>.
We don't have an admiral on our boat. My wife is a Commander in the U.S.P.H.S. and I frequently refer to her as such. In some situations I even salute, however I usually don,t recieve a proper salute in return<img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Or swabie OJ

Ray Seitz C 250WB #628 Sea Major

Edited by - Ray Seitz on 11/07/2002 12:43:07

Edited by - on

dlucier
Master Marine Consultant

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Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
7583 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 13:37:46

Dave's explanation is right on. After spending 6 years in the United States Navy, I can attest that the Admiral/Captain analogy is somewhat fitting, when applied to couples aboard boats. Additionally, the Captain doesn't necessarily have to be the male. There is a Hunter 32 in our marina that is the second home of a female Captain while her male Admiral stays at home. There is also an O'day whose female Captain takes her kids and guests out all the time and the only time I saw her husband was when she needed a deck ape to lift the outboard off the transom for repairs.

When my Admiral is aboard she has final say on; amount of heel, length of sail, destination, and safe sea and weather conditions. And like the true Admiral/Captain relationship, once these orders are issued they are binding and not subject to question under penalty of withholding of future boat funding. <img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle>

Don Lucier, 'North Star'
Catalina

Edited by - on

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 14:15:58

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
Could you imagine the things us guys get called on the all women sailors website - I'd probably be referred to as "jib boy."
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

Oh it is worse Steve...The Admiral and the Commodore sail on Tuesdays <s>with the broad reach club</s> (did I say that out loud?) in an all Womens fleet here in Cleveland.....They have all sorts of names for us.

And if you think about it, just about everything in sailing could be some sort of freudian derivative, either positively and negatively depending. I'm quite certain Mast or tiller size is referenced, I know of one boat that calls their men the deckhands and I'd be willing to bet it doesn't end there.
What goes around comes around, as long as its in good fun. I do it for essentially the same explanation that Dave gave above...the women control the money. (and Even if they don't control the money, tell me your buying a new motor when the choice is between that and the new bedroom furniture)

Now...can we get on with our misogynistic talk

dw

ps: (side note: Harvey is a little upset I started Calling Kristin the Admiral prior to Him meeting Lisa. He feels Commodore is getting the short end of things and deserves a promotion after their wedding. So if any of you can think of a good name, let me know and I will relay the message. And no Val, rear admiral isn't going to float)

PPs: Ray, aren't you supposed to be still be saluting until the salute is returned?

Duane Wolff
"The Flying Wasp"
C-25, #401 std,sk
Chief Measurer C-25/250 National Assn.
<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b2d603b3127cce9f858f0ef3ef0000001010" border=0>

Edited by - on

bren737
Captain

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291 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 15:06:33

WHAT!??!

I can't believe what I'm seeing here! This is exactly what's wrong with America these days! Are you MEN or MICE?! NO woman tells ME when I can sail or how much I can spend on MY hobbies! I am the MASTER of MY boat--and house! And furthermore. . .

Oh,oh. Sorry, gotta go: my wife just pulled up in the driveway and if she catches me on the forum AGAIN she won't let me go to the lake this weekend; I'll be stuck carrying her purse at the quilt show once more.<img src=icon_smile_dissapprove.gif border=0 align=middle>

Bren Peterson
C250WB, #642, "Ruah"
San Antonio, TX

Edited by - on

Ray Seitz
Captain

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USA
416 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 16:48:28

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>PPs: Ray, aren't you supposed to be still be saluting until the salute is returned? <hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>
Uhhh Duane I guess I need to clarify my statement. Usually I only salute when given a very direct order(of which I was not fond of)and my wife grew up near So.Boston, she does return the salute<img src=icon_smile_shock.gif border=0 align=middle> , just not proper!? <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle><img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

Ray Seitz C 250WB #628 Sea Major

Edited by - on

osmepneo
Past Commodore

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USA
1420 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 17:45:12

Thanks for the entertaining replys! <img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

But there seems to be a weakness in some of what I'm hearing and the analogy, like parables, breaks down.

When we Captains face crisis situations, the "Admiral" that really doesn't know how to sail (sometimes I think that's me, too <img src=icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle>) needs to respond to the Captain, not the other way around.

Again, thanks for the netertaining posts.

Don Peet
c25, 1665, osmepneo, sr/wk
The Great Sacandaga Lake, NY

Edited by - on

Doug
Captain

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USA
457 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 17:49:33

Uhm, I don't think the Admiral is offended by the title. Other wise I'm sure to have gotten "clarification" of the ranks by now. On one of the other groups I frequent spouses are generally refered to as SWMBO.
Thanks Rumpole!

Doug - #1913 Noeta

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 21:50:19

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
...there seems to be a weakness in some of what I'm hearing and the analogy, like parables, breaks down.

When we Captains face crisis situations, the "Admiral" that really doesn't know how to sail (sometimes I think that's me, too <img src=icon_smile_sad.gif border=0 align=middle>) needs to respond to the Captain, not the other way around.
<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>
OK, I'm going out on a limb here, not having commanded a Naval vessel... But if an Admiral happens to be aboard a ship under way, is not the Captain the still the commanding officer of the ship? The Admiral could relieve the Captain of his command, but absent that, the Captain calls the shots. Am I wrong? Does that help the analogy? Or should I call Barb the First Mate?

Dave Bristle - 1985 C-25 #5032 SR-FK-Dinette-Honda "Passage" in SW CT

Edited by - on

ssteakley
Captain

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USA
467 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2002 : 22:43:21

Don,
this is very simple...
the reason we call Her the Admiral is because she IS the Admiral and you/we are NOT!...
time will tell,
Steve Steakley

Edited by - on

tinob
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1883 Posts

Response Posted - 11/08/2002 : 08:31:59

Very interesting Don,

NETERTAINING, care to explain <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle>?

Val on "CALISTA" # 3936

Val Bisagni

Edited by - on

Arlyn Stewart
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
2984 Posts

Response Posted - 11/08/2002 : 08:57:08

At some risk of responding too seriously to this thread... I am in agreement with Don about the use of Admiral... I wouldn't use it... but we all choose to use tools that we are comfortable with and work for us.

Arlyn C-250 W/B #224

Edited by - on

Ben - FL
Admiral

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880 Posts

Response Posted - 11/08/2002 : 10:32:35

OJ, I thought it was "cabin boy!"

Yes, I refer to my wife as The Admiral in fun. And like Dave says, when the admiral is on board she is not in charge of the boat. But she is still the boss. And if the Boss likes it, I LOVE it.

And by the way, she refers to me as "Oh Captain, My Captain!"<img src=icon_smile_approve.gif border=0 align=middle>

Safe voyages,
Ben, FL s/v Chick-a-pea C250wk

Edited by - on

osmepneo
Past Commodore

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USA
1420 Posts

Response Posted - 11/08/2002 : 11:08:58

Val,

"Care to explain?"

Sure, I type with only my thumbs and some times get my mords wixed!

should I go back and edit it? Nah, this is for fun!

Don Peet
c25, 1665, osmepneo, sr/wk
The Great Sacandaga Lake, NY

Edited by - osmepneo on 11/08/2002 11:10:09

Edited by - on

n/a
deleted

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62 Posts

Response Posted - 11/08/2002 : 15:31:34

Heck, I don't mind being the Admiral/Captain. I get to sail however I want and spend whatever I want on "my" boat! My husband is crew but I have to placate him with guitar equipment. It works out just fine!

Edited by - on

triley
Captain

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USA
251 Posts

Response Posted - 11/08/2002 : 17:20:14

My wife is English, so I call her First Lord of the Admiralty. She controls the purse strings, can put me on half-pay and generally controls my commission!

Edited by - on

Steve Milby
Past Commodore

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USA
5937 Posts

Response Posted - 11/09/2002 : 12:47:17

How is it condescending and derogatory to liken one's wife to the person who holds the highest and most honored office in the Navy? I hope we aren't going to heel over and broach every time somebody's mistaken notion of political correctness breezes through. Whenever you fellows have made reference to your wives as the "Admiral," I have always understood it as a term of love and affection. I don't see any reason why you should stop using it in that manner.

Steve Milby "Captiva Wind" C-25 T/FK #2554

Edited by - on

pwhallon
Admiral

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USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 11/09/2002 : 12:56:00

I was just thinking about this Admiral thing.

Go back to the photo I posted and look at the woman in the background.

That's my wife's mom.

They are Italian.

You wanna meet the BIG Admiral in my extended family? That's her.

You mess with mom she'll "kick ya till your dead".<img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

Whew!!

Paul

Edited by - on

OJ
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4382 Posts

Response Posted - 11/09/2002 : 17:25:52

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>

You mess with mom she'll "kick ya till your dead".<img src=icon_smile.gif border=0 align=middle>

<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

I guess that explains why you're sitting where you are Paul <img src=icon_smile_wink.gif border=0 align=middle> !

Edited by - OJ on 11/09/2002 17:27:36

Edited by - on

LOREN SOUERS
Navigator

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USA
100 Posts

Response Posted - 11/09/2002 : 18:54:40

I have to put my two cents in on this one. I, personally, don't refer to my wife as "Admiral" in our sailing. But... when I was a judge for twelve years, on occasion she would call me at my office. First of all, my secretary ALWAYS put her calls through. I think women do that for each other. Second, I might be sitting, trying to settle a case or something, and I would announce to the crowd, "Excuse me, I have a call from the Court of Appeals." She was/is, after my court of appeals. She got a kick out of this and was certainly never offended.
The only thing different which occurs to me is that "admiral" has the slightest suggestion to me of large size, which might be offensive.
I also have a client who has a rather crude, red-neck saying, "Ain't Mama happy, ain't nobody happy!
I guess we all have our ways of making life interesting. Personally, it seems to me that sailors, and most of you on this website, have good senses of humor, so "Admiral" away!!!

Loren Souers, Captain
Nimue, The Lady of the Lake

Edited by - on

Tray
Navigator

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Namibia
224 Posts

Response Posted - 11/10/2002 : 09:34:39

Dave's Naval explaination is absolutely correct, but that's not why my wife is the Admiral.

When I bought the boat the other half of a sailing couple we know in Carolina told me that if I wanted to keep my marriage healthy and still sail, I had to remember that while I may be the Captain underway, I should always treat my wife as the Admiral once moored. So far, his advice has kept us both happy on and off the boat.

We just had our 7th anniversary a couple months ago, and we still feel like newlyweds.

Tray
C-250WB #554
"Weeny Bean"

Edited by - on

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 11/12/2002 : 11:24:54

<BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>quote:<hr height=1 noshade id=quote>
My wife is English, so I call her First Lord of the Admiralty. She controls the purse strings, can put me on half-pay and generally controls my commission!

<hr height=1 noshade id=quote></BLOCKQUOTE id=quote>

As long as she keeps splicing the main brace and doesn't start rationing the tots of rum, I could handle the half pay

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