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dmpilc
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4593 Posts

Response Posted - 06/29/2010 : 10:13:01

We started our daughter sailing in the C-22 shortly after she was born. We'd put the bassinette on the floor inside and the rocking motion would put her to sleep fast. As she got older, she'd be out in the cockpit or inside at the table with crayons & coloring book. Approaching 29 and recently married, she enjoys racing with me but now her work schedule and mine rarely coincide. A few years ago she raced with me in Chattanooga at an all C-22 event (my 3rd year there) and we won first place in the silver fleet. We had a ball! But now I have to race in gold fleet there which makes it a lot harder to place, much less win.

Edited by - on

JudOWNED
1st Mate

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USA
98 Posts

Response Posted - 06/30/2010 : 11:49:09

I'm fortunate in that my wife enjoys being on the water. She also wants to learn more how to sail the boat herself, instead of always relying on me. My 6yo diaghter likes being on the boat because she likes the cabin. It's like a little house for her, and she's pretty content to just pop a movie into the portable dvd. She'll help me haul on a line now and then, but if she's out she prefers to sit up by the bow pulpit, which is tough to do under sail. When we motor in and out, though, I let her sit up there.

My plans for the eventual tween and teenage years are to either get her into sailing by buying her her own little sailing dingy, or (worse case scenario) eventually break down and buy a jet ski so she and her friends can go fast and do their own thing while mom and dad are enjoying a sail and maybe a couple of beers.

Edited by - on

Leon Sisson
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1893 Posts

Response Posted - 07/04/2010 : 10:26:22

<center>A single guy's thoughts on family sailing.</center>Re: "Obviously, sailing isn't the fun family outing that I've always hoped it would be. It kind of makes me wonder why do I have a sailboat?"

Um, to get some time away from house mates who don't like sailing?

Re: Disappointing teenage offspring in general.

I suggest better managing your goals and expectations:

<ul><li>Emerge from teen years alive and whole without killing or maiming anyone else.</li><li>Stay out of emergency rooms, courtrooms, and jails.</li><li>Don't reproduce.</li><li>Stay in school with the clear #1 goal of gaining skills and knowledge for which society might later offer a living wage.</li><li>Minimize excessive tanning, tattoos, vehicle accidents, and other popular forms of permanent self mutilation.</li></ul>Re: "I involve him in sailing the boat and gave him about an hour at the helm yesterday. Part of the trick is getting them involved."

Yes, get young crew involved in operating the boat. Give them a feeling of participating in, and contributing to, a cooperative team activity. As soon as there's any hope they won't wreck the boat or permanently traumatize themselves or others, teach them to steer. Maybe start by motoring slowly in open water, and increase the challenges only as fast as their confidence and skills grow.

Let the teenagers control the stereo. If the results are unbearably painful, bring a discrete personal music source with earbuds, but be wary of the safety issues implied by impaired hearing.

Explain as gently and sympathetically as possible that safety afloat requires a clear chain of command. Directing emergency response in particular is not an appropriate committee activity. (But don't use this as an excuse to let your inner control freak run wild.) Planning the day's activities should be as democratic and inclusive as possible, and open to mid course corrections. But it's the skipper's call as to who needs to get up off their... cushion when lines need tending.

Encourage family members to invite friends sailing. In addition to making the trip at hand more enjoyable for them, bringing guests along develops critical social (and career) skills which will serve them well in the future.

Re: "So I always make sure that we've got a cool destination..."

Those new to sailing may not yet appreciate sailing as a worthy destination in itself. Having a specific, desirable goal in mind can go a long way towards getting less than enthusiastic potential crew members 'onboard'. Around here, there are waterfront restaurants with food, drink, and frequently live musical entertainment. (Plus watching other boaters dock and get under way can be a mildly entertaining variation of the Boat Ramp Follies.) There are frequently large, communal weekend parties on otherwise uninhabited islands. (You know your teenagers were hoping to attend somehow. Better on your boat, under your watchful eye, than "Bye Dad, we're off to study at the library!") A trip through a sea port can appeal to those with a taste for drama and grandeur. Try to give your crew and guests something (favorable) to tell others about the outing, beyond "We went sailing. I was sooo bored."

Keep in mind, young folk seek sensory stimulation and have short attention spans. The entertainment industry has become very good at delivering what this profitable young demographic craves. So the bar for 'not boring' is now much higher than it used to be, and continues to be raised.

Ask for critical feedback, and then take it to heart without biting back.

-- Leon Sisson {child-free master of useless advice to harried parents}

Edited by - on

TakeFive
Master Marine Consultant

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2272 Posts

Response Posted - 07/04/2010 : 21:49:29

I am extremely fortunate that my wife enjoys sailing as much as I do. Although she hates to take the helm, she is great with the winches and sheets, and just loves lying down in the cockpit and relaxing. We had sailed our Phantom dinghy for 10 years during vacations while our kids were growing up (we could leave them with their friends at for a couple hours while on vacation, and sneak out on the Phantom for a couple hours each day), and now that they're old enough to leave at home (and my son stopped playing summer baseball) we added the C250 to our small stable of boats. But I had no delusions of making this a family activity that all the kids would participate in regularly. It would be just my wife and me, and if the kids were willing to come that would be a pleasant surprise.

This evening we decided to go out and do an evening sail, and the kids were predictably disinterested. Then I told them, "We'll take the dog along," and all of a sudden they got interested. (Up to tonight, we had never taken the dog.) It's funny how something little like that makes a big difference to them. We grabbed carry-out chicken for dinner, hopped on the boat, and sailed about an hour up toward Philadelphia. It was 8 pm and I figured we should head back before dark, since I was not sure I had enough experience to sail in darkness (no moon until about 1 am tonight). Then my daughter told us how upset she was that she couldn't get any friends together to go see fireworks. That was enough excuse to get me to turn the boat around again and head back up river for another 45 minutes - I'd take my chances on sailing in darkness. We saw about 8 fireworks displays going on in various towns in New Jersey and Pennsylvania, all while listening to the Capitol Fourth concert on Public Radio. It was terrific, and I realized that even when the moon is down, there is plenty of light from Philly airport and the various industrial sites on the shoreline to sail (though a GPS/chart plotter certainly helps).

On the way back my 13-year old son said, "Gee Dad, I can see why you and Mom spend so much time sailing."

Oh, and the dog loved it too!

Edited by - TakeFive on 07/05/2010 05:36:13

Steve Blackburn
Master Marine Consultant

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Canada
1091 Posts

Response Posted - 07/05/2010 : 14:35:15

I've owned my C250 for abuot 3-4 years now. I too was very disapointed to find out that everyone in my family thought sailing was boring and a chore. Took me a while but I'm beginning to come to terms with the idea/situation. The disapointment comes from really hoping we could've all of had fun and that the investment (both money and time) would be worthwhile only to find out that they would rather do anything else than be on the "damn" boat as they call it. My daughter is 12 and son is 15 and like others said everything we do/think is lame and boring. I tried involving them (wife and kids) somewhat by explaining how to sail and stuff but just got blank stares, total disinterest in fact you couldn't be less interested without going into a coma.

In the beginning when sailing was new to me I was very concentrated on safety rather than fun. Also got anoyed a few times and stated my discontent (in a loud way) which made things even less fun. To be honest we don't have good sailing grounds. Our lake is about 5 X 1 mile with no village and nothing to do. They like the swiming though but the temperature must be just right. In fact there are so many hurdles before going out sailing that we don't go out anymore. Wind has to be just right, temperature has to be hot and sunny, has to be on certain times, etc, etc, etc. I've resigned myself to wait for my wife to ask if we should go out sailing. So far we've gone out twice this year for a total of 5 hours.

We have since decided to leave the kids home and my wife is now starting to be interested in sailing. Even asking to helm and how to set the sails down in case I should drop over and stuff. I know she would greatly enjoy 2-3 day outtings in the San Juans or the like. This is something I will try to introduce them to in the near future chartering a 35-37. This winter we are chartering my friends's 42 foot Beneteau Center Cockpit out of Mexico with another couple. We are leaving the kids at home.

Sailing was MY dream that I impossed on my wife's and kids, not theirs. Glad to see that I'm not alone in this situation.

Edited by - on

Voyager
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
5379 Posts

Response Posted - 07/05/2010 : 18:18:05

I love to have company whenever family members come along for the ride. My wife will join me 1 out of 5 sail trips.

While my son (25) and daughter (27) can handle the boat under power, they are still a little fuzzy about sailing - with all the subtleties of sail angle and apparent wind. They know the sailing lingo (mostly) and can crew just fine. With 4GB of MP3s and an FM radio, we can usually arrive at consensus on tunes.

No more than a 3 hour cruise, unless we're headed to a specific destination.

Other times, I'll invite a friend or two along. That's always fun.

But if nobody's available, I'm more than happy with my own company too.

Edited by - on

Stinkpotter
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
9081 Posts

Response Posted - 07/06/2010 : 07:45:00

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Voyager
 ...the subtleties of sail angle and apparent wind...<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">Ah yes... I remember when my older daughter, many years ago, was learning to tack her Sunfish out of the harbor and complained that the wind kept shifting toward wherever she tried to sail. So we talked about the movement of the boat through the air, and a lightbulb popped on! Even trickier are the tidal currents that pull you into a mooring you're trying to pinch around, and the oblivious powerboaters...

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