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Sunday Sailing - Breaking the "Rule"

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Joe Diver
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1218 Posts

Initially Posted - 07/11/2011 : 10:12:55

I have a rule on my boat: No children.

Not because they annoy me, but because children have no respect for another persons property......I tolerate children to a point but little kids get into stuff and break it. Period. Okay, yes they annoy me too.

I broke my rule this weekend and took out my best friend, his wife and 2 small kids, a 5 YO boy and 7 YO girl. The little girl is an absolute doll...she listens, behaves, is respectful and a ton of fun...plus she adores me and that's always a bonus 'cause I'm an old softy. The little boy however...another story, polar opposite of his sister. He won't listen, won't mind, complains, cries, and is in constant motion. Fingernails on a chalkboard for me. My buddy and his wife are very attentive and in control (mostly) so we're good there.

However....sailing just doesn't do it for the kids. I understand. We took out across the lake, both sails trimmed well and made 4.5 kts on average, with many times hitting 6.0+ during sustained puffs, splashing through the waves and heeling over. (Scaring the kids!) The little girl loved it, standing up in the V berth and looking out the front. (I have a jib pendant) but the little boy stayed down in the cabin, on the lee side settee, crying or throwing a tantrum because he was bored or scared. We eventually got him into the cockpit and it was a little better but he stayed curled up with mommy.

Oh well, we tried....so went to a cove, got the last mooring ball and tied up. Spent the rest of the day swimming, kids absolutely loved jumping off the side, climbing back in and jumping off again....at least the water rinsed my cockpit floor really good. Had lunch, swam some more, went ashore and explored...but basically all done sailing for the day...too bad too because the winds were up 15-18.....

It was late and close to sunset as we motored back in, so I have to go back out this week and clean up...wash down dirty footprints, mop the cabin floor, clean off Nacho Cheese Doritos handprints (really pisses me off) and basically get my boat cleaned up.

Not too bad though...I caught more sun than I wanted since we ended up swimming all afternoon.....and I'm still worried about my motor. It worked well all day, but leaving the mooring I had some starting/running trouble where it would idle but then bog and die....a few pumps on the priming bulb fixed that up....and the water stream doesn't seem as strong....plus a new problem started popping up, seems the shifter needs adjustment as I had a little trouble getting it out of forward; had to shift to reverse then to neutral a couple of times since it kept going directly into forward.

When I go out this week to clean up I'll come home with my motor. Anyone have a service manual for a '99 Hansen Sea-Cow?

Scott

When we left, we had just enough fuel to make it to San Juan. And now... we are out of fuel!

Edited by - Joe Diver on 07/11/2011 10:14:01

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 10:50:07

Breaking boat parts, footprints, cheeto grease and short attention spans are hardly relegated to children.

A full day on the water can be brutal for anyone, let alone two kids under the age of 8. Young kids need to be constantly entertained, and the entertainment varies for each one. It sounds like you altered your agenda enough so that everyone can have fun. Which is what you have to do. With little ones any set agenda is only a plan to fail. You need plenty of outs and alternatives. The attention span just isn't there and probably won't be for a few years.

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 12:39:32

I almost always to my son sailing, he does real well with it, he's been sailing since he was about a year and a half old, he is four now.

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TakeFive
Master Marine Consultant

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2272 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 12:53:28

I vividly remember what a PITA I was when I was that age. We did a cruise to the upper Chesapeake, and NO PLACE was good enough. We went to Kentmorr, and I said, "I want to go to Castle Marina!" Upon discovering that there was no actual Castle there, I said, "I want to go to Georgetown Yacht Basin." After the initial thrill of seeing the "George Washington slept here" sign at whatever inn that is, I became bored again, so I demanded to go somewhere else.

All I can say is that if my grandparents and my parents did not have infinite patience with me at that time, I would not have any interest in boats today.

So I'm glad to see you cut the kid a break. He may grow up to thank you for it.

Edited by - TakeFive on 07/11/2011 12:55:04

islander
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4024 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 15:06:10

Kids on a boat can be trying but when things like that happen I say to myself that there is some service man over in Afghanistan that would trade spots with me anytime. Kinda makes things not look so bad.

Edited by - on

dmpilc
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4593 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 15:28:39

We always brought crayons and coloring books for our daughter whenshe was little (on the C-22). When she got bored in the cockpit, or too hot, she could always go below to the dinette & color. After a while, she would come back out on deck. Also, we didn't make her wear her life jacket down below, and almost always sailed in light air at that age, so no heavy heeling, and lots of swimming, even when I'd rather be sailing!

Edited by - on

Joe Diver
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1218 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 17:12:30

I'd rather have been sailing, but that's why we spent most of the day tied up and swimming/playing. It was fine and I enjoyed it...got a view of my boat that I don't usually see...it was cool sitting in the shallow water on shore looking at my boat moored in the cove. I enjoy relaxing and swimming too...there were some really big cabin cruisers tied up/rafted up in the cove too so there were other kids they got to play with. It was a good day.

Edited by - on

Stinkpotter
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
9081 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 19:56:18

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Joe Diver
 ...It was a good day.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">Scott, I'm glad you finally arrived at that assessment. I was beginning to wonder if you had any idea what you were like at five... Were you OK with being stuck in a place in which you had no interest, with nothing to do, because some old people were having fun doing something that scared you? Five is one thing--seven is quite another (just as three is a whole different thing altogether). Indeed, sailing on a "big" boat is generally not something that kids will get into. Sailing on anything is not for a five-year-old. None of the sensory pleasures that adults feel on a sailboat--slicing through the water, watching your surroundings, enjoying the peacefulness (or the exciting push past hull-speed) have any appeal whatsoever at five.

However, you probably gave your best friend and his wife a very welcome break--even if they had to attend to their little guy, which they're used to doing. That's worth a few Dorito-crumbs and hand-prints, and then some.

As for your rule, I hope you break it again... and eventually scrap it--at least for occasional gifts to friends. But at the same time, an excursion on a boat--any boat--with kids needs to be planned around them--not merely around the grown-ups. That's what being a grown-up is about. In the end, everyone will be a lot happier--even you!

Edited by - on

Joe Diver
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1218 Posts

Response Posted - 07/11/2011 : 20:37:46

Yes, I remember well what I was like as a child....perhaps this is why I don't have kids? Fear of being paid back!

Some people just don't like kids. I'm one of them....and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm free to live my life as I choose and I don't want kids, never have. There are lots of us out there. Most of my friends and the groups I run with don't have kids or their kids are grown or 16+ and can hold their own.

That's not to say I hate kids and avoid them....I have nieces and nephews, friends with kids of all ages...and I'm not a grumpy old curmudgeon with kids around. I play with them and I'm nice and all...but when I'm done, I'm done and the kids go home or I go home when I've had enough and my patience is wearing thin.

I am who I am, nothing is going to change that....and I don't want to change it, I'm very happy with my life the way it is....although some of my friends are becoming grandparents and that's hard to face. My life is just not structured around children. I don't have them, my social activities are adults only (normally) and the places I go, things I do, are just not kid friendly. So, when I do something like Sunday, I'm going out of my way, and out of my norm.

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 07/12/2011 : 07:04:41

I end up doing a lot of sailing with kids, usually they have their life jackets on, sitting on the cabin top with the moms, enjoying the sun and the spray. The boys have a fun time learning a bit about helm as I let them help drive the boat on occasions. Sometimes they get bored and go down below and play with each other so they never really bother me. Typically after a long day of sailing and swimming Jackson will crump out in the V-berth pretty early surrounded by pillows and the adults will get their night sail on. The singer in my band has a son six months younger than Jackson, he's a single parent and enjoys sailing so his son Lane has become a regular on the boat, Jackson and lane do a pretty good job entertaining each other so it works out pretty good. Oh, if someone's kid makes a mess, it's pretty much an unwritten rule that the parent of said kid cleans up the mess so typically by the time we're done the boat is in fine shape.

I was like you Joe, not much of a kid person as I waited until I was 42 to have my son, he's pretty much changed my perspective on everything, including kids. I do however totally get where you're coming from. If a kid acts like a brat, they typically aren't invited back. My son and my niece seem to love sailing so they are always invited, as well as our little buddy lane.

here's my little guy driving Stephanos, he actually does a pretty amazing job of holding a course.

Edited by - on

Joe Diver
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1218 Posts

Response Posted - 07/12/2011 : 07:59:49

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by PCP777
 I was like you Joe, not much of a kid person as I waited until I was 42 to have my son, he's pretty much changed my perspective on everything, including kids.

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Everyone who has kids has told me the same thing...that "your" kids will change everything. I'm 45 now and have no plans for kids as I want to retire by 60 or 65 and not be putting a kid through college. I also have a fast rule that I don't date women with kids, but lately have been breaking that rule. The older I get, most single women in my dating age range have kids so they're a package deal....and if they don't have kids they've got that whole "biological clock ticking" desperation thing going on so I gotta be careful and not get trapped. My biggest issue dating women with kids is the involvement level of the father....I absolutely refuse to allow a strange man to have any influence on my life whatsoever....and when you're dating the mother of his children it can have some uncomfortable moments.

Aint life fun?

Edited by - on

Nephidoc
Deckhand

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USA
4 Posts

Response Posted - 07/12/2011 : 19:13:48

We have a rule on our boat.....
Bring the kids and have fun.
I just love watching the kids having a good time.
BUT... my 5 kids have about 40 cousins.
Yea we are from Utah.

Edited by - on

Joe Diver
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1218 Posts

Response Posted - 07/12/2011 : 20:41:15

Yeah, my rule about kids probably wouldn't work well for you....I have other rules:

1. All strippers must bring 1 friend, preferably another stripper.
2. Drink all you want.
3. If you need the V Berth, be quick about it so others may enjoy it as well.
4. No smoking. LOL...yeah, right!! Good one.....
5. Wear as little or as much as you want.
6. Puke over the side please.
7. What happens on the boat STAYS on the boat. Violate Man Law and you will not come back.
8. Please remember that girlfriends are cool with wives, but wives HATE girlfriends. See Rule 7.
9. If your girl acts like a B or complains, tells people what to do or why they're wrong, she'll be put ashore at the closest marina.
10. Wait for me to drop sail before using the mast to dance.
11. Any music that gets the girls dancing is acceptable.

I guess you see where I'm going with this and that my life isn't exactly "kid friendly". But hey...it works for me....and if your life works for you, fantastic!

Edited by - on

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 07/13/2011 : 05:22:36

We have #7 I think Everyone has #7

Our version of your number 6 - Puke or piss to leeward (very important part you left out)

One you missed - persuant to our interpretation of Maritime law, all beverages brought on board shall become inventory in the "ships stores" and may not leave the vessel.... This plays on the fact that if booze is part of ships stores coming from another country there is not a limit or a higher limit on importable quantities but may not be removed from the vessel. I'm sure we read it wrong and our Holiday Inn Express Law degrees also have us incorrectly interpreting what we have read incorrectly, but it works. More simply stated: You put a beer in our ice box the only way it leaves is via your stomach.

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Stinkpotter
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
9081 Posts

Response Posted - 07/13/2011 : 06:09:30

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Champipple
 ...You put a beer in our ice box the only way it leaves is via your stomach.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">...or over the side, to leeward.

Not to ruin the fun, but on Sarge, Rule 2 is the beer & wine come out only after we've re-entered the Mystic River, heading back to my dock at no-wake speed. Out on the big water, everyone is to have their full faculties--especially the skipper. Most of the other rules are the same as above.

Edited by - on

Joe Diver
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1218 Posts

Response Posted - 07/13/2011 : 07:24:26

I like the "Ship's Store Rule"! That's gonna become a new rule for me....

I don't have the "no alcohol underway rule" simply because I'm not a big drinker right now. My pax can drink all they want....I don't drink alcohol because:

1. I'm taking pain medication for my back.
2. I'm taking blood pressure medication.
3. It's way too hot outside.

When I have a drink, it's one, maybe 2 and that's it. Even at anchor. Not because it conflicts with my pain meds (part of it) but because alcohol dries you out, and so do the pain meds, and when you combine them....well, let's just say I like to visit the head at least once a day....I drink lots of water, fruit juices and Gatorade. Very few sodas.

Edited by - Joe Diver on 07/13/2011 07:25:16

OJ
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
4382 Posts

Response Posted - 07/13/2011 : 07:36:00

The above reminds me of a couple that planned both of their children's births in March so as not to interfere with sailing season.

As someone at our marina mentioned - if they've sailed since birth, it's a regular, normal part of life . . .

Edited by - on

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 07/13/2011 : 08:23:06

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Stinkpotter
or over the side, to leeward.

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Which would be via the stomach...

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">
Not to ruin the fun, but on Sarge, Rule 2 is the beer & wine come out only after we've re-entered the Mystic River, heading back to my dock at no-wake speed. .

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"> Good thing I like rum too.

Edited by - on

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