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Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts
Initially Posted - 04/24/2003 :  15:34:00  Show Profile  Visit Champipple's Homepage
This is for those of you who have go without sailing during the winter season. You might have forgotten what your missing. I offer the following as a refresher. (I got if from the scuttlebutt newsletter, however I've seen it over the net numerous times before)

PRESEASON REFRESHER COURSE:
To best prepare yourself for the sailing season try these quick
exercises:
<ul><li>1. Buy a case of beer, sit with it in a very warm place for a few hours, then drink it.</li>
<li>2. Apply sunscreen to your face in streaks and sit in front of a sun lamp for 2 hours.</li>
<li>3. Sit on a bench with large metal fixtures cutting into your legs, stare straight up into the sun for two hours - for a more robust workout: invitefriends to come over and yell at you the whole time </li>
<li>4. Go out and get very drunk, sleep 4 hours, then stand on a rocking chair for 6 hours.</li>
<li>5. Go to bank and withdraw $1,000 - then light it on fire.</li>
<li>6. Sit in front of a commercial fan and have someone throw large
buckets of salt water on you.</li>
<li>7. Repeat number 6 in jeans and a sweatshirt and /or repeat number 6 with head turned sideways to ensure water lodging fully into ear drum.</li>
<li>8. Cut limb off nearby tree, tie ropes to it, stand on rocking chair with tree limb and ropes - hold them over your head for 3 hours... at 5 minute intervals drop on your head - more robust version: have friends yell at you in 6 minute intervals.</li>
<li>9. Set your wrist watch to 5-minute repeating counts ... let it go off all day long.</li>
<li>10. Pour cold water in your lap and give yourself a wedgie, now
alternate between sitting and running around bent over.</li>
<li>11. Tie ropes between 2 trees - push your body against them as hard as you can for 6 consecutive hours - don't stop for pain or bruising.</li>
<li>12. Place sandpaper on your stairs, crawl up and down on your knees for several hours.</li>
<li>13. Make 12 sandwiches on white bread with bad meat and cram them into a bread bag - eat one a day for 12 consecutive days... make sure the last one is peanut butter and jelly if preparing for Race Week.</li>
<li>14. Tie ropes to rear bumper of friend's car, hold on tightly, but
allow rope to slip through fingers as car drives away - TIP: works best with nylon fiber ropes, lengths in excess of 50'.</li>
<li>15. Upon completion of previous 14 drills - sit down and drink 14 Mt Gay rum drinks, any flavor.</li>

</ul>

D. Wolff - "The Flying Wasp" #401 sr/sk
Chief Measurer C-25/250 National Assn.
<img src="http://www.flags.com/dreamimages/Flags/measurer.jpg" border=0>

Edited by - Duane Wolff on 04/28/2003 15:41:18
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n/a
deleted

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163 Posts
Response Posted - 04/28/2003 :  12:15:59  Show Profile
This is GREAT. Just when I needed a good belly laugh; thanks!
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ssteakley
Captain

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USA
467 Posts
Response Posted - 04/29/2003 :  23:32:19  Show Profile
In Texas we do not have to wait...just experienced all the above (except the saltwater part) at the Fiesta Regatta, Canyon Lake, Texas
right Derek! <img src=icon_smile_big.gif border=0 align=middle>

<img src="http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3dc32b3127cce94d57c8cff3b0000001010" border=0> Moon Chaser #385WK <img src="http://www.catalina25-250.org/forum/forum1.gif" border=0>
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Notice: The advice given on this site is based upon individual or quoted experience, yours may differ.
The Officers, Staff and members of this site only provide information based upon the concept that anyone utilizing this information does so at their own risk and holds harmless all contributors to this site.