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Bad Joke!

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nate
Navigator

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240 Posts

Initially Posted - 10/21/2004 : 13:26:41

What do you call it when Fidel Castro falls and breaks his arm?

A commie-nuted fracture!!

Nate Adams
C25 #5695 WK/SR/Trad
"Heeling Properties"

Edited by - on

Buzz Maring
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1772 Posts

Response Posted - 10/21/2004 : 13:36:47

I can't argue with you , Nate ... that IS a bad joke!

Edited by - on

John Mason
Admiral

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USA
687 Posts

Response Posted - 10/21/2004 : 15:11:15

Oh, Boy! It's joke time. I'm terrible at remembering jokes, but here's a little word humor:

FOR THE WORD LOVERS - Part I
Once again, The Washington Post published its yearly contest in which r eaders are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), a Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n), the belief that when you die your Soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts .

FOR THE WORD LOVERS - Part II
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners.

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a**hole

Edited by - on

Charlie Vick
Captain

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USA
423 Posts

Response Posted - 10/21/2004 : 16:59:10

Now thats funny, though I care what everybody sez!

CVick

Edited by - Charlie Vick on 10/21/2004 16:59:32

bear
Admiral

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USA
909 Posts

Response Posted - 10/21/2004 : 19:18:15

It's started already and it isn't the first day of winter.

Edited by - on

tinob
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1883 Posts

Response Posted - 10/22/2004 : 08:52:35

This one is from the admiral,

A dyslexic atheist insomniac is a person who stays up all night wonderinmg if there really is a DOG.

Val on Calista # 3936
Patchogue, N.Y.

Edited by - on

lcharlot
Master Marine Consultant

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Antigua and Barbuda
1301 Posts

Response Posted - 10/22/2004 : 10:43:40

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">
Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

This one had me laughing so hard I almost fell out of my chair, after the laughter turned into a violent coughing fit. I guess you would have had to grow up in the late '60's and early 70's in San Francisco, like I did, to really appreciate it.

Edited by - on

tinob
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1883 Posts

Response Posted - 10/22/2004 : 12:30:11

Have y'all heard, "You're gonna hate Friday". If not I'll try to muster the strenght to type it out for ya.

Wadda ya say?

Val on Calista # 3936
Patchogue, N.Y.

Edited by - on

pwhallon
Admiral

Members Avatar

USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 10/22/2004 : 19:02:20

Can I have another hit.

Or 70's:

Wow dude, what a trip. Don't bogart that _____ man.

2004:

That's really stupid Dad. Can I play Nintendo now.

Later,

PW

Edited by - pwhallon on 10/23/2004 10:09:26

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 10/22/2004 : 20:22:47

Nintendo?? What's that--some toy from the 80s?

Back to my PlayStation... (The box or the catamaran?)

Edited by - Dave Bristle on 10/22/2004 20:28:41

pwhallon
Admiral

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USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 10/23/2004 : 10:11:25

Yea Dave, you're right.

I think they have a game cube now. Or something like that.

What a bummer.

Edited by - on

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