Association Forum

Assn Members Area · Join

Home.

Association Forum

Ships Store

Cruising

Racing

Technical Tips

Photo Gallery - New

Boat Search - Updated

Manuals & Brochures

Swap Meet

Links

Officer Flag Line & Staff

Bylaws & Constitution

Members Area

Join the Association

Notice:
The advice given on this site is based upon individual or quoted experience, yours may differ.
The Officers, Staff and members of this site only provide information based upon the concept that anyone utilizing this information does so at their own risk and holds harmless all contributors to this site.

Association Forum

Username:	Password:
Save Password
Forgot your Password?

All Forums

Catalina/Capri 25/250 Sailor's Forums

General Sailing Forum

Why?

New Topic

Topic Locked

Printer Friendly

Author

Topic

Page: of 2

John Russell
Master Marine Consultant

Member Avatar

USA
3444 Posts

Initially Posted - 06/20/2010 : 09:47:23

My wife called down to aour daughter to tell her that we (including the daughter) were going sailing and that she should get ready.

Her response: "Why?" Not in a rude kid kind of way but rather in a "Why would we want to do that?" kind of way. Obviously, sailing isn't the fun family outing that I've always hoped it would be.

It kind of makes me wonder why do I have a sailboat?

John Russell
1999 C250 SR/WK #410
Bay Village, Ohio
Sailing Lake Erie
Don't Postpone Joy!

Edited by - on

delliottg
Former Mainsheet C250 Tech Editor

Members Avatar

USA
4479 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 10:33:17

I can commiserate, Rita's a reluctant sailor. She'll go, but not enthusiastically. She generally enjoys herself once we get out, but she considers the boat "work", not "fun" and getting her to go is work for me. More than once I've considered selling the boat just because it'd be easier and I wouldn't have to listen to her complain about all the work (of which I do 98% of). I'd be pretty happy with a 18-20' catamaran to day sail on, but I'm unlikely to get her on it. We bought SL because our San Juan 21 was too small to do over night trips on comfortably. We've probably spent less than a week hanging on an anchor or ball since we've owned it.

Edited by - on

islander
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
4024 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 10:34:27

Your not alone John, My daughter lost all interest in going out on the boat when she was around 14 or so. I guess our vision of a fun family activity isn't theirs. We never forced her to go after that because it would only resulted in a really bad day. I boat for my own enjoyment and am lucky enough to have a wife that enjoys it as much as I do. I guess two out of three ain't bad. Funny thing is that she is now 25 and is married...... Her husband owns a boat...

Edited by - on

OJ
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
4382 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 11:30:39

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by islander
 . . . My daughter lost all interest in going out on the boat when she was around 14 . . .
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">That's about the right age. From the child's perspective - parents start to lose IQ points about that time also - becoming dumber and dumber til the child reaches age 19 or so - then the parent's IQ begins to climb again.

Edited by - OJ on 06/20/2010 11:33:30

calden
Navigator

Members Avatar

USA
194 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 11:32:55

Kids enter a magic land upon turning 11 or 12 or so. It's called Teenageistan, and they are held hostage there for about 8 years, after which they are released and come back to you, acting as though nothing amiss happened.

However, last summer I met a family in Anacortes (Puget Sound sailing locale for those of you scratching your head) who had trailered their Catalina 25 fin keel up from California. This was their annual vacation ritual. However, now that their daughters were getting to be teens, they were "considering" getting a bigger boat.

I bet they were! I am a new owner and am wondering if the boat is big enough for a middle age couple! I cannot imagine spending a week on it with a couple of pre-teen kids. Good for them for keeping this up.

Carlos

Edited by - on

Stinkpotter
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

Djibouti
9081 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 13:17:26

Let's face it--sailing is fun for the sailor--the person at the helm, in control of the boat. Tacking the jib is... a task, but not really sailing. Watching scenery go by is not recreation for a teenager (or for many spouses)--it's not their activity, it's yours. The only time either of our girls really enjoyed sailing was when my older one bought a used Sunfish (with a little help), whereupon sailing became her sport. (...and I got to watch with a bit of envy!)

Don't get rid of the boat--just work on your expectations, and think about how sailing can become their sport.

Edited by - Stinkpotter on 06/20/2010 13:19:13

John Russell
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
3444 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 17:31:08

Well, we went out for the afternoon and she stayed below reading a book until the wind died and we decided to drop the sails and drop the anchor so she could swim. That piqued her interest. She even said she had fun on the way home and meant it.

But, I guess you guys are right about kids this age. My 19 y/o will only go out if it's just her and I so that she can at least sail the boat a little more. And, she's the former Sea Scout! If we all go out, she complains that it's too crowded and BOOOORRRRRRIIIIING.

Edited by - on

klassi1
1st Mate

Members Avatar

88 Posts

Response Posted - 06/20/2010 : 19:15:44

Dad kept us interested as his crew for racing. My sister and I had foredeck and spinnaker duties. Anything but boring. Upwind, we were mostly rail meat and tailers.

Now, many years later, we are starting on the next generation, my nieces (9 & 10) are primarily intersted in a wild ride on the foredeck and finding a cove and swmimming. Hoping to get them hooked on racing before they reach those teenage years.

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 07:27:26

Our 16 year old daughter hates sailing, she thinks it's slow and boring. This past week I've taken a friend of ours 15 year old son out sailing a couple times and he really likes it. I involve him in sailing the boat and gave him about an hour at the helm yesterday. Part of the trick is getting them involved. He was all about trying to better his boat speed. His mom likes sailing too, so does my wife and our 3.5 year old seems to like it as well so right now I have no shortage of crew.

Then there are other people, like the guys in my band, that love to come out but don't want to do any work at all which is fine sometimes. They bring guitars and bongos and we have a sailing jam session.

Another popular activity is going to the cove and dropping the hook to go swimming. I require that everyone use a PFD. We wear ski vests upside down like "diapers" which you'll find ,if you ever try this , allows you to float very comfortably without effort so that you can enjoy your beverage. We also always throw a long line out tied to a PFD cushion so people can hang on and not be blown to far from the boat. We even have a floating fish bobber cooler.

One advantage of our lake is that we have a couple destinations to choose from with restaurants etc. That helps keep things exciting for the crew as we have places we can go so it's not just an entire day of sailing. Night sailing is also really nice. Keeping the experience varied keeps it fresh for the crew. Next weekend we are doing a moon light raft up at a cove. It's better than camping!

Edited by - on

delliottg
Former Mainsheet C250 Tech Editor

Members Avatar

USA
4479 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 07:42:36

We used to float down the the lower reaches of the Colorado River like that, wearing our ski vests like diapers. Surprisingly comfortable, & fun. Wouldn't want to do it in fast water because you're sort of like a Weeble, except you probably could fall down. Or float upside down if you got flipped somehow.

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 07:53:06

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by delliottg
 We used to float down the the lower reaches of the Colorado River like that, wearing our ski vests like diapers. Surprisingly comfortable, & fun. Wouldn't want to do it in fast water because you're sort of like a Weeble, except you probably could fall down. Or float upside down if you got flipped somehow.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Yeah we're in a lake with no current to pseak of so it works great for us.

Edited by - on

redeye
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

3476 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 08:52:20

To me it is knowing when to go. The summer is kinda slow down here, hot and little wind.

Nothing like night sailing on a full moon or sunsets on the water.

Edited by - on

Renzo
Admiral

Members Avatar

USA
621 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 11:07:04

I guess that sailing is one of those things that you either love or hate. But as far as sailing being a booooring activity for teens, what about fishing (sitting for hours in the sun with a pole) or going to a pro-baseball game (one of the most expensive ways to bore a kid),forget about hiking or camping entirely and Golf?? Even I wouldn't want to do that! Face it, teens are bored by everything that dosen't involve other teens. So, when you take them sailing pick a day when it's blowing 15 to 20 and hoist the 150 (or 155 if ya got one) and don't reef the main until the winches are in the water. I guarentee the kids won't be booored. Of course they will probably never want to go sailing with you again, but they they already don't want to. At least they might remember dear old dad wasn't a completely boring old gas bag.

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 12:27:01

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Renzo
 I guess that sailing is one of those things that you either love or hate. But as far as sailing being a booooring activity for teens, what about fishing (sitting for hours in the sun with a pole) or going to a pro-baseball game (one of the most expensive ways to bore a kid),forget about hiking or camping entirely and Golf?? Even I wouldn't want to do that! Face it, teens are bored by everything that dosen't involve other teens. So, when you take them sailing pick a day when it's blowing 15 to 20 and hoist the 150 (or 155 if ya got one) and don't reef the main until the winches are in the water. I guarentee the kids won't be booored. Of course they will probably never want to go sailing with you again, but they they already don't want to. At least they might remember dear old dad wasn't a completely boring old gas bag.

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

What's funny is I took a some friends racing on Saturday, it was huffing pretty well and I did some window washing and even shipped a little water over the coaming into the cockpit. Guaranteed they weren't bored.

Edited by - on

At Ease
Admiral

Members Avatar

672 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 13:56:20

Let's face it, these cruisers are not nearly as much fun as a smaller boat that will get up on a plane and 'fly.' In fact I've given up even asking if my better half wants to go with me. I tell her I'm going, she says, "have fun."

That's one reason my C320 is for sale.

Edited by - on

piseas
Former Treasurer

Members Avatar

USA
2017 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 13:56:45

My 26 year old son sent sailing with me a few times when I got the boat. He took his girlfriend then. Now he is single and never goes with me. He said if I had a speed boat, he would go! I dont think that will ever happen.
My 21 year old daughter gets sea sick and wont take anything for that. But she has gone out couple of times when we motor and anchor. She likes that.
My wife is not crazy about sailing either. But I got back into sailing for me, not my family. I have a couple of friend who love to go out with me, otherwise, I go solo and love it. I really dont like a big crowd anyway as I got out for the solitude and quiet.
Steve A

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 14:38:31

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by At Ease
 Let's face it, these cruisers are not nearly as much fun as a smaller boat that will get up on a plane and 'fly.' In fact I've given up even asking if my better half wants to go with me. I tell her I'm going, she says, "have fun."

That's one reason my C320 is for sale.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

I don't know, we use our boat like a summer home. A couple of weekends ago a friend of mine was having a big party on another dock so I fired up the iron genny and motored over to an empty slip and tied up. The kids went down below to watch Robots on the portable DVD player while the grown ups partied on the dock (This guy has a ski boat, covered a section of the dock, table chairs, fridge, the whole 9). It was a blast. Eventually we went down below and crashed out, and in the morning I snuck the boat out about dawn and raised the sails as the sun rose. We sailed over to red barn cove and had a quick swim, (The water was nice and cold!) got back to the docks at about 10:30AM.

Almost once a weekend the last month or so my wife, kid and I have crashed on the boat. It's like a mini vacation when you get on the boat Friday afternoon and live on it until Sunday. We also mix things up by hanging out at the marina pool etc.

This weekend we have plans to night sail (full moon is on Saturday) and raft up in a cove. I think like Redeye said, it's when and what you do.

Of course I'm real lucky that my wife likes to hang out on the boat, I have a lot of buddies who's wives you never see.

Edited by - on

islander
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
4024 Posts

Response Posted - 06/21/2010 : 16:17:31

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">I have a lot of buddies who's wives you never see.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Maybe they like it that way...

Edited by - on

Patrice C25
1st Mate

Members Avatar

78 Posts

Response Posted - 06/22/2010 : 07:08:35

Hahaha!!! teens are all the same ....
Everything you mention is boring, or anything you like they must dislike...
But if you're lucky, on a nice sunny day, if you ask if they'd like to come for a little ride, then we'll drop the hook and enjoy some sun and a swim. They might be interrested.

Edited by - on

redeye
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

3476 Posts

Response Posted - 06/22/2010 : 07:21:17

I tell um to just stay on the front porch if they want to...

And then I show um the fun I had...

Edited by - on

ruachwrights
Captain

Members Avatar

USA
258 Posts

Response Posted - 06/22/2010 : 18:36:24

My son is 13. He likes to sail but is kind of nervy. He is excited about sailing now because he wants to teach his friends how to sail. He has to learn first! Now he's pretty good crew, can pull mooring buoys handle line, the helm, clean, do what ever... But skippering is intimidating for him. I'm looking forward to him learning the confidence to take command. I think I may start by teaching him to single hand, which in our boat is a stretch because we do not have an auto helm and cannot reach the winches from the wheel. It takes fancy handling of the boat hook, and fast maneuvering of the winches. He may then get a feel for the rhythm and the groove of it all and learn that even if worse comes to worse he could manage it all himself. On second thought I could just pretend I'm utterly clueless and have him coach me about what way to wrap the lines etc.. (I have done this a few times in the past but things tend to degenerate when he starts screaming at me in pure frustration!) Soon I'm going to take him out with his friends, give them some tips and head below, or at least put duct tape on my mouth, to encourage them to get into the groove themselves. (Good God!)

We try to mix it up with the kids. Visiting new towns is always a thrill for them. Once we even took his surf board with us us so he could catch some waves while we anchored off shore.

Good luck with all your teenagers. Wish me luck with mine!

Vern

Edited by - on

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 06/28/2010 : 13:01:20

Ok guys had an amazing break through. The teen aged daughter requested that we go sailing, just her and I. Turns out the sailboat and the heeling scared her. We went out to eat, had a nice little day sail, then went swimming. :)

Edited by - on

windsong
Captain

Members Avatar

USA
318 Posts

Response Posted - 06/28/2010 : 14:01:53

It broke my heart the first time I saw my 13-yo son's long face on the boat, but then I put myself in his shoes and I see his problem. I have come to learn that he only enjoys sailing as a means to an end. Sailing for the sake of sailing is torture. Torture. So I always make sure that we've got a cool destination or that we're going snorkeling or diving. Racing and daysailing is not for him. I've also found that lots of electronics help - PSPs, iPods, smartphones, portable DVD players... all good stuff.
I was also thrilled to discover that he enjoys seamanship skills. We went out one day to practice anchoring under sail and sailing off our anchor, as well as using the Lifesling and he had a good time. Next time we're out, I think I'll throw a fender in the water and cry, "Dad overboard!" See if he can make it back to me. That's the stuff that interests him. Just sitting... can't do it.

Edited by - windsong on 06/28/2010 14:11:14

PCP777
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
1225 Posts

Response Posted - 06/29/2010 : 07:47:31

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by windsong
 It broke my heart the first time I saw my 13-yo son's long face on the boat, but then I put myself in his shoes and I see his problem. I have come to learn that he only enjoys sailing as a means to an end. Sailing for the sake of sailing is torture. Torture. So I always make sure that we've got a cool destination or that we're going snorkeling or diving. Racing and daysailing is not for him. I've also found that lots of electronics help - PSPs, iPods, smartphones, portable DVD players... all good stuff.
I was also thrilled to discover that he enjoys seamanship skills. We went out one day to practice anchoring under sail and sailing off our anchor, as well as using the Lifesling and he had a good time. Next time we're out, I think I'll throw a fender in the water and cry, "Dad overboard!" See if he can make it back to me. That's the stuff that interests him. Just sitting... can't do it.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Good stuff, does he enjoy being at the helm?

Edited by - on

windsong
Captain

Members Avatar

USA
318 Posts

Response Posted - 06/29/2010 : 08:11:02

He's like his Dad - thinks the helm is the least interesting job on a boat. :)

Edited by - windsong on 06/29/2010 08:11:40

jbkayaker
Captain

Members Avatar

USA
299 Posts

Response Posted - 06/29/2010 : 09:32:55

I can always get a boat load to sail out for the July 4th fireworks display on our lake.

Edited by - on

Page: of 2

Topic

New Topic

Topic Locked

Printer Friendly

Jump To:

Association Forum

Notice: The advice given on this site is based upon individual or quoted experience, yours may differ.
The Officers, Staff and members of this site only provide information based upon the concept that anyone utilizing this information does so at their own risk and holds harmless all contributors to this site.