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Catalina/Capri 25/250 Sailor's Forums

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Sailing joke

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Frank Hopper
Past Commodore

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Pitcairn Island
6776 Posts

Initially Posted - 11/05/2003 : 13:17:36

Years ago I saw a cartoon in Sailing, the drawing was unimportant. For some reason this joke pops into my head all of the time and it always makes me smile;

What do you call a German sailing dog?

Vang.

I have a huge grin on my face. Why is that so funny to me? Please someone tell me another joke.

Edited by - Frank Hopper on 11/05/2003 13:33:07

osmepneo
Past Commodore

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USA
1420 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 13:35:50

Hey Frank, I don't have another joke, but it put a smile on my facve. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 14:07:45

Uhhhhhhh.... Somebody e-mail me......

Edited by - on

ppetracca
Navigator

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USA
163 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 14:09:51

Frank,

Try this place:

http://www.mudhead.org/Sailing_Jokes.html

I especially like the very first definition!

Edited by - on

Frank Hopper
Past Commodore

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Pitcairn Island
6776 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 14:45:55

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Dave Bristle
 Uhhhhhhh.... Somebody e-mail me......

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
Now Dave, as an MMC surely you would not know any off color jokes.

Edited by - on

pwhallon
Admiral

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USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 15:24:00

Here's one,

Why are Pirates grumpy all the time?

I don't know, they just ARRRRRRRRRRR!

PW

Edited by - on

Sea Trac
Master Marine Consultant

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Vanuatu
1357 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 15:28:22

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by pwhallon
 Why are Pirates grumpy all the time?

I don't know, they just ARRRRRRRRRRR!<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

And thanks, Frank, for starting this thread. Now can you suck this cold, dreary weather back up North for me?

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 17:22:54

My favorite sailing story (a joke to some observers) comes from a daysail with another couple on their Bristol 22. While motoring out of the harbor alongside the J-24 and Sonar fleets that were sailing out to the racecourse, we hoisted the main, turned off the motor, held our course alongside the fleet, and hoisted the jib--upside down!

The guy had hanked it on back at the dock--somehow missing a small detail... Now remember, this was alongside a fleet of 30-40 racing crews. It was a small event, and lasted for only a few seconds (he did get it all the way up before noticing the sheets were a little high), but you don't forget a moment like that soon!

Edited by - on

MattL
Admiral

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USA
990 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 18:10:11

OK,
Not really sailing oriented, unless you stretch a couple but I got these in an email today:

1. How Do You Catch A Unique bird?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch A Tame bird?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit A Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
7. What Do You Call A Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick.
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.
11. What Do You Get From A Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross A Snowman With A Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
16. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
17. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.
18. What's The Difference Between A Bad Golfer And A Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.
19. How Are A Texas Tornado And A Tennessee Divorce The same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

Edited by - on

pwhallon
Admiral

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USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 11/05/2003 : 20:03:44

Those are great jokes.

GA vs AL. Did you hear about the big storm in Alabama?

No, what happened?

It knocked the governors mansion slap off it's wheels.

Edited by - pwhallon on 11/05/2003 20:06:26

Gloss
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1916 Posts

Response Posted - 11/06/2003 : 19:24:36

What was the first thing the Georgia fan said when he had a frontal lobotomy?

How bout them Dawgs.

(Go Gators)

Edited by - on

Kip C
Navigator

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USA
243 Posts

Response Posted - 11/06/2003 : 21:17:35

This evening the family went to Jungle Jim's International Food Market (a one of a kind place and must see, if your ever in northern Cincinnati) to get some fresh sea bass. While my wife was getting the fish, my near 6yr old son and I were looking at the live lobster tank displays. He says, Hey Dad, Why did the lobster get angry? I said, I don't know, why? He says, because he's a little crabby.
Thought I'd share that, since it fits the thread. Tomorrow when he wakes up, I'll tell him I posted his joke on the Internet ...he'll think thats really cool.

Edited by - on

Frank Hopper
Past Commodore

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Pitcairn Island
6776 Posts

Response Posted - 11/06/2003 : 21:20:13

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Kip C
 Tomorrow when he wakes up, I'll tell him I posted his joke on the Internet ...he'll think thats really cool.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
Please tell him we all thought it was a great joke.

Edited by - on

Wayne Wallace
1st Mate

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USA
28 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2003 : 00:42:20

The 19 jokes were great. I have not laughed this much in a while.

Edited by - on

MattL
Admiral

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USA
990 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2003 : 09:08:07

When I was in college I had a roommate, Pietro Martinelli. Pietro was born in Italy but grew up in Santa Cruz. When we were in college he was a very serious young man. He would call his mother on the phone once a week and you would swear that they hated each other. All you would hear was screaming in Italian. After one of these phone calls we were talking about his family and he told be a little story about his brother Berto, born and raised in Santa Cruz, CA. He said Berto was walking down at the boardwalk, like he always does. On this walk Berto's attention was caught by a large sea lion swimming under the dock. Being so mesmerized he walked right off the end and into the water. Pietro then told me with a dead serious face, “It just goes to show, when you’re out of slits, you’re out of pier.”

Edited by - on

Derek Crawford
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
3323 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2003 : 10:59:25

Matt - that's the punniest one yet!! Loved it!
Derek

Edited by - on

Ellis Bloomfield
1st Mate

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USA
85 Posts

Response Posted - 11/07/2003 : 17:37:03

Dave,
Now we finally get the full picture. It wasn't just your advancing age that prompted you to get roller furling. Unless the upside down jib and advancing age are somehow connected.

Edited by - on

Chip Hunt
Navigator

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120 Posts

Response Posted - 11/10/2003 : 00:34:26

i am a UGA fan (my mom taught mathematics there for years), and i was at the recent coctail party. by the way, where are the gators ranked in relation to my beloved dawgs?? hmmm, i shall say no more. its good to quit while we're ahead...

Edited by - on

Chip Hunt
Navigator

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120 Posts

Response Posted - 11/10/2003 : 00:35:29

i guess the one good thing about the gators winning that recent game is that you will get to keep zook for a few more years.

Edited by - on

Spain
1st Mate

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USA
35 Posts

Response Posted - 11/10/2003 : 01:23:59

Here is a couple
Question - Why did the Native American want his son to join the Yacht Club
Answer - He wanted to see his red son in tne sail set.

Once had a friend that each time he went sailing he took a bunch of pebbles with him and threw them at sea birds. Said he did not want to leave one tern unstoned.

Edited by - on

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