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Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Initially Posted - 01/06/2004 : 23:31:30

Several people here have been aware and expressed concern over the situation that has diverted my attention from this forum lately... I greatly appreciate those expressions. The many prayers and thoughts from friends and family around the country were, in a way, answered, in that my wonderful wife, Barb, suffered no physical pain as she passed from us on New Years Day, at 57. While the cancer that took her was like a wildfire, we had time to gather friends and family, including our daughter and son-in-law from Mali (the Peace Corps) who arrived Christmas Eve and had some quality time with her. Our town is in shock--she had so many close friends and had helped so many people in so many ways. (I was skipper on the boat, but in town, I was "Barb Bristle's husband.")

I cannot begin to express, nor do I yet fully understand, the loss that I am only beginning to feel. However, many things about this battle could have been much worse. I have to try to remain thankful that she went in peace, having had a few weeks with our daughters, family, and best friends.

This Spring, I will install new standing rigging, have Passage launched, and will put her into her slip; but I will likely put her up for sale in preparation for some other significant changes such as venue. I can't really afford to stay on the Connecticut "gold coast" on my falling income alone, so I'll be scouting out new places and planning a new adventure.

I hesitated to throw this wet blanket on the forum, and avoided doing so throughout our battle, which began at the beginning of November... My thanks go to the few who protected my "secret" while privately expressing concern and friendship. I'm breaking the news now because I can't pretend around friends that it didn't happen--it is the end of a 39 year chapter in my life, and the next chapter is getting started. So far, it sucks.

Cherish your loved ones, and whatever you're thinking about doing, don't wait. You just never know...

Barbara Bristle
1946 - 2004

Association Port Captain, Mystic, CT
Past member and DPO of C-25 #5032
Now on Eastern 27 Sarge (but still sailing) and posting as "Stinkpotter".

Passage, Mystic, and Sarge--click to enlarge.

Edited by - on

Derek Crawford
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
3323 Posts

Response Posted - 01/06/2004 : 23:34:35

Dave - please accept our heartfelt condolences on your loss. At these times words always seem inadequate...
Derek

Edited by - on

Sea Trac
Master Marine Consultant

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Vanuatu
1357 Posts

Response Posted - 01/06/2004 : 23:39:19

I'm so very sorry, Dave.

JB

Edited by - Sea Trac on 01/06/2004 23:39:44

frog0911
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1349 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 00:31:16

No words can express what you have gone through, just remember that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Jerry and Sandy

Edited by - on

MattL
Admiral

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USA
990 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 01:06:19

Dave
Thought of you and your wife will be in our prayers also.
Matt Brigitte and the kids

Edited by - on

osmepneo
Past Commodore

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USA
1420 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 06:06:02

DAve,

You will also be in my thoughts and prayers during these coming weeks. I'm glad you took to share such personal details to your friends out here, and whiole you can't understand the loss yet, sharing your grief with others will be helpful. If you haven't looked into it I'd recommend you look into hospice survivor programs. They can be immensely helpful.

Edited by - on

matsche
Captain

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USA
280 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 06:30:59

Will keep your family in our prayers. I would second Don's recommendation of Hospice. They helped us tremendously this past year.

Edited by - on

Arlyn Stewart
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
2980 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 07:57:20

A tall, very aged, yet erect dignified Black Lady friend of our family brought home made bread after my wife passed... she hugged my neck... in fact held me for a moment... and whispered, cry as much as you want child. You too Dave...

Edited by - on

Buzz Maring
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1772 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 08:06:57

Dave,

I wish I knew the right thing to say ... I am so sorry. I've never laid eyes on you, but somehow I feel like I've known you since I was a kid. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face ... my heart goes out to you.

Edited by - on

dave holtgrave
Captain

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USA
427 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 08:42:50

dave
sorry to here your sad news.
i can understand how you feel and you are with me in my thoughts and prayers.
for all the input you have done on this forum leads me to believe you are a strong individual who will remember the good times and smile thoughtout the days ahead. you and i both know she will be right beside you for eternity.
enjoy the memories
dave holtgrave
5722 sk/tr
sailing carlyle lake
in southern illinois

Edited by - on

dlucier
Master Marine Consultant

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Virgin Islands (United Kingdom)
7583 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 09:06:33

Dave,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and I appreciate you taking the time to express your thoughts during this very difficult time.

Tonight, when I go home, I will do as you said and "cherish" my loved ones a little more tonight.

Again, I'm sorry Dave.

Edited by - on

osmepneo
Past Commodore

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USA
1420 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 09:26:29

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">A tall, very aged, yet erect dignified Black Lady friend of our family brought home made bread after my wife passed... she hugged my neck... in fact held me for a moment... and whispered, cry as much as you want child. <hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

All I can add is, "Amen!"

Edited by - on

ClamBeach
Master Marine Consultant

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3072 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 10:04:30

Dave, I can't add much to what's been so eloquently stated above. Sending good thoughts toward you, your family, and everyone who's missing Barbara...

Edited by - on

coach
Navigator

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USA
231 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 10:34:22

Dave, I am sorry to hear this. I went thru this exact same thing with my 57 year old mother a few years ago.

May God Bless you and your family during this time.

Edited by - on

tinob
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1883 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 10:35:47

Sorry Dave,
Wednesday I meet my littlest one (8 yrs.) in chapel at his school. Today we prayed for you and your Barbara.

Val on the hard DAGNABIT

Edited by - on

svmoxie
Past Commodore

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USA
331 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 11:00:59

Dave, you remain in my thoughts and prayers. Remember that you always have friends here.

"When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written: 'Death is swallowed up in victory.'"

The Apostle Paul: 1 Cor. 15:54

Clif

Edited by - on

Sunshine Daydream
1st Mate

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57 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 13:47:06

Dave,
So very sorry.

Scott, Kelly, Phoebe, Ty
"Sunshine Daydream"

Edited by - Sunshine Daydream on 01/07/2004 13:48:46

dgabel
1st Mate

Members Avatar

USA
75 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 17:00:40

Dave:

My sincere sympathy. I also have never met you but I feel as though I know you.

You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dave Gabel
Walkure
Hull 1484

Edited by - on

Raskal
Navigator

Members Avatar

USA
162 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 18:05:50

Dave, please don't be embarassed to tell us of your loss or think you have thrown a "wet blanket" on the forum. This is the biggest thing in the world for you and you must talk about it, so all of us who have enjoyed reading your posts in the past are sad for your loss and will hope you find joy again soon.

Your friend in sailing,
Rich Kokoska

Edited by - on

OJ
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

USA
4382 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 18:34:43

Dave,
I just read about your wife's involvement with the many and varied community organizations. One would certainly gather that she was full of life and loved helping people. Your loss is also Darien's loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Steve Madsen

Edited by - on

Shelby
Navigator

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USA
155 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 19:08:27

Dave,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You will be in my prayers and thoughts.

Edited by - on

Gary B.
Admiral

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USA
969 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 20:35:08

Dave....I had no idea. I think you are handling this like a MAN...you have my utmost sympathy and respect. Blessings on you...

Gary B.
Encore! #685 SK/SR
Vice Commodore

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 21:42:50

Thanks, friends... It's great to be involved in a community like this at a time like this. Maybe I'll have to keep the boat, after all.

BTW, Steve, what were you reading and where? There were some local notices, but I'm curious about what you found.

Thanks again... I really appreciate the sentiments.

Edited by - on

Dkn420
Captain

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USA
298 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 21:49:24

Dave: You and your family are in my prayers...may God Bless you and your family as your life changes and may He give you strength and comfort...there are footprints in the sand for all of us...if you are ever in CA you are welcome to sail with me anytime....Dan

Edited by - on

Sea Trac
Master Marine Consultant

Members Avatar

Vanuatu
1357 Posts

Response Posted - 01/07/2004 : 22:01:20

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Dave Bristle
 Maybe I'll have to keep the boat, after all.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Dave,

Although there is no way that I can imagine what you're going through, I do know that for me the boat is a place of sanctuary and a place to shore up my sanity, in an otherwise insane world.

Perhaps once your pain is not so fresh, you will develop a new relationship with Passage, and will be able to enjoy her anew for the memories she will engender, as well.

JB

Edited by - on

pwhallon
Admiral

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USA
694 Posts

Response Posted - 01/08/2004 : 10:40:30

Dave,

I'm sorry to hear of your wife pasing away.

I hope sharing your feelings with us helps you through this difficult time. Our shoulders are many and broad.

God Bless,

Paul Whallon

Edited by - on

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