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Survey-Does your wife/sig. other like to sail?

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Renzo
Admiral

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USA
621 Posts

Response Posted - 04/23/2008 : 20:16:29

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by redviking
 [size=1]
Renzo, should you hijack this or should I?

I'll tell you about all of the nauti aids to navigation if you get my drift.

I mean VMG - Vertical Made GOOD!

Some charts may be required.

But seriously, get those battery operated flickering candles, spring for a scented pillow in one of those stores you need an oxygen mask to enter, make sure the v-birth (hey, I hear it has happened!) is comfortable, new cushions/bedding is a plus, nice pillows like the ones you have at home with fresh pillow cases, a very clean head with air freshners. Some soft music, good wine, good nibbles and a decent meal - not noodles from a can! Anchor away from people in a beautiful spot - i.e. captive audience, and if that doesn't get your S.O. in the Nauti I wanna be a Salty Dawg mood, hmmm.... can't help...

They can look at it two ways, "Oh I gotta go sailing

" Or, "Wrahh wrahh wroom, I gotta go sailing

"

sten
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Sten, you covered it beautifuly but you forgot the moon. If the moon is full, shimmering on the water, marking a path to the open sea or lighting your way back to the dock, and the wine is palatable and plentiful, then a little dust in the companion-way or a less than flowery scent in the main salon on the way to the V-berth will, most likly, be overlooked by most romantically inclined females.

At least thats what I've been told

Edited by - on

Deric
Captain

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USA
408 Posts

Response Posted - 04/23/2008 : 20:45:43

Steve,

If I may, I would like to add the following to the list you posed: positive reinforcement.

Give praise to one's partner more often as learning occurs. The praise must be sincere though, otherwise one's integrity is jeopardized. Another technique that works for me is to trade experiences, for example, my wife enjoys going to garage sales, I tend to find the experience not as enjoyable as sailing - - except when I find a deal that I could not have found elsewhere; I remember buying a trombone for $125 bucks that was valued at $900 new. Nonetheless, I'll share a garage sale experience and she will share a sailing experience.

Say, it would be neat to sail to a garage sale.

Great thread!

Edited by - on

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 04/23/2008 : 21:13:27

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by John Russell
 
Leave the coldies for after the anchor is down.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

That Sounds Mutinous

How about adding this one Steve: Realize that one day their skills can surpass yours, or possibly already have.

Edited by - on

Renzo
Admiral

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USA
621 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 07:27:40

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Champipple
Realize that one day their skills can surpass yours, or possibly already have.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Hey! There's no reason to get FEMINIST about this!

Let's just all agree that it's not always bad luck to have women on board.

Edited by - on

redviking
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1771 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 07:50:26

Renzo,
As a male feminist and as a male lesbian, I am shocked! DUDE! Why do you think ships have topless babes on their bows? To give the boys using the head something to think about while at sea? No, it's because most everything in the universe is female based. Mother earth, ships are often and should be named after women, only Neptune is a guy and he is to be feared. Women baring their breasts can calm the seas - I've tried it and it does work. OK, marginally - but the crew and I did feel better.

As a full time cruiser I have met many a woman that can kick this whole forums ass when it comes to knowledge and abilities. The sea favors no gender.

Sten

DPO C25 #3220 "Zephyr", SR, FK
SV Lysistrata - C&C 39 - St. Augustine FL for flipping ever!!!!

Edited by - on

Frank Hopper
Past Commodore

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Pitcairn Island
6776 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 07:54:39

Ever notice how few credit their wives in their sig?

Edited by - on

Renzo
Admiral

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USA
621 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 08:55:01

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Women baring their breasts can calm the seas - I've tried it and it does work<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
Man! that's a disturbing mental image that is going to take five or six coldies to erase!

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">I have met many a woman that can kick this whole forums ass when it comes to knowledge and abilities. <hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
I live by three simple rules:
1- Never eat anything bigger than your head in one bite
2- Never make love to a woman who can beat you in a fair fight
3- Never,Never,Ever,Ever fight fair

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">most everything in the universe is female based. Mother earth, ships are often and should be named after women, <hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
The universe is yin AND yang it is important to keep it in balance and I accept that as my duty. But lest it be thought that I am a complete chauvanist - my boat name - ZINGARA, means Gypsy Woman in Italian.

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"> Ever notice how few credit their wives in their sig?<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
The boat is mine. Kathy and I agreed along time ago that if we ever split up I get the boat and she gets everything else. How's that for fifty/fifty.

Gotta go now. I launched the boat the other day and now I gotta take the wife sailing.

Edited by - on

Champipple
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
6855 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 10:05:56

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Renzo
 <blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Champipple
Realize that one day their skills can surpass yours, or possibly already have.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Hey! There's no reason to get FEMINIST about this!

<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

She was winning the proverbial silver pickle dishes long before I ever pulled my first halyard. She's done Rolexes, Won a few Coral Cups, NOODS, Levels and many more. ...

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Ever notice how few credit their wives in their sig?<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

The first boat (the catalina 25) was mine before I was married. Harvey and I owned that boat together. Harvey's wife and my wife specifically stated that they wanted nothing to do with that boat so they get nothing to do with the signature.

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Man! that's a disturbing mental image that is going to take five or six coldies to erase<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">
<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Leave the coldies for after the anchor is down<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Now do you see why I said it sounds like mutiny

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 10:20:34

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by Frank Hopper
 Ever notice how few credit their wives in their sig?
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">If your wife wants to get in on the discussion, she can make up an ID and signature, too. Then we'll know who we're talking to.

Edited by - on

Nautiduck
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
3704 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 10:40:08

Between this and the Mecca posts it is clear that the loooong winter is taking its toll.

Tonight Pat and I will take our first 2008 sail. It sure will feel good to actually be sailing instead of just thinking and writing about it.

Edited by - Nautiduck on 04/24/2008 10:40:44

piseas
Former Treasurer

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USA
2017 Posts

Response Posted - 04/24/2008 : 16:34:21

Steve, Another thing to do which was mentioned several times, is taking sailing classes, weather it be together or other women-guess its what your woman prefers.
Other than that its about having fun, not being too serious, bringing friends and not making yourself Mr. Know-it-all.
Steve A
PS Has anyone shown this topic to thier mate? What is their respoonse?

Edited by - on

MartinJW
Navigator

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USA
241 Posts

Response Posted - 04/25/2008 : 00:11:45

My wife enjoys sailing, but mostly as a pleasant way to get to a nice beach for a few days. So, she likes it, as long as sailing doesn't take up more than maybe 20-30% of our aquatic recreation time.

I don't mind this arrangement. If I want to go out and spend hours and hours sailing - especially in windy or rough conditions - I'll just take a friend.

This works for us.

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 04/25/2008 : 08:28:57

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by MartinJW
 My wife enjoys sailing,...<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">Martin: You had an 18 and were buying a new 250... Has that happened? Start a new thread about your new arrival (if/when it's happened)!

Edited by - on

SteveRoberts
1st Mate

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USA
45 Posts

Response Posted - 04/25/2008 : 11:17:54

My wife loves to sail. In fact, she has our post-retirement Atlantic voyage all planned out (leave the east coast, sail to the Azores, then Spain, Portugal, France, Ireland). She's much more enthusiastic about ocean voyages than I am, probably because I'm the one who would have to fix or deal with anything that goes wrong.

She's enthusiastic but has zero spacial reasoning ability so knots, winches, telltales etc. baffle her. She can steer, trim, just about anything else with guidance but she'd rather ride while I drove and that's fine with me, I like to drive.

She loves overnighters but any time we can get a couple hours out on the water she is all for it. I'm pretty lucky, really.

Edited by - on

SteveRoberts
1st Mate

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USA
45 Posts

Response Posted - 04/25/2008 : 15:59:07

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">You are lucky to have a wife that will get behind that one.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Ha, that's one way of putting it. As far as I'm concerned, we've crossed enough oceans in small boats. This whole trip is her idea!

I'll do it because I love her and because I'm always up for an adventure. Make no mistake, there are significant costs associated with ocean cruising...and I'm talking about dollars. To be able to do this we're going to have to accumulate much more money than were we to simply retire and live in town.

The opportunity cost in terms of money not saved for retirement and up front cost for boat prep and cruising kitty for our 1990 trip probably put us back 5 years in retirement (ex-recto estimate).

I'm not complaining and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. But having been there and done that, I'd be just as happy to do something else.

Edited by - on

At Ease
Admiral

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672 Posts

Response Posted - 04/25/2008 : 17:21:34

Like many posters, my wife likes to sail. The only problem is it is usually too cold, too hot, too windy, not windy enough, etc. I don't think she went out at all last year. As a result, I go solo 99% of the time, and spend the night on the boat solo 99% of the time. That's fine with her, too.

Edited by - on

redviking
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1771 Posts

Response Posted - 04/27/2008 : 11:20:38

Quote: "Make no mistake, there are significant costs associated with ocean cruising...and I'm talking about dollars. To be able to do this we're going to have to accumulate much more money than were we to simply retire and live in town."

Hmmm.... we have found the opposite. Rather than pursuing professional endeavors forever - read treadmill - we decided to go cruising and rent our house but essentially leave landlife behind.

It's cheaper! for example - there is a yard in Chestertown MD where Lysistrata was on the hard that charged $7 per day!!! Everything included! That's $2500 a year! My mortgage was more per month! For a 39 foot boat we are currently paying $600 per month to be at a dock. In St. augustine the City marina allows those out anchoring to pay $170 a month to come in a use the showers, laundry and dinghy dock. In Oriental NC, we were paying a dollar a foot per week... $160 a month to live with showers, laundry and electricity!

Other than the occasional rental car, plane ticket, and taxi ride, our only expenses are at West Marine, the liquor store, grocery store and restaurants. We made the decision to go cruising more or less after hearing our Swedish cruising friends exclaim that they were "rich."

"Really?" I inquired. "Ja, we have nearly $14,000 in the bank right now from working." Geez, at the time I couldn't have walked out the door without spending that every month with payroll et al... We do some consulting, graphic design, etc. to pay the bills and so far - knock on boat - it has and is working. There are challenges, but if you work your ass off trying to get to the point where you are finally financially secure, you will never go. There is no security anymore. Rice is being rationed at Walmart already. Not to sound survivalist or anything, but we have supplies onboard for well over a month should all heck break loose - I'm glad that I can get the heck out of dodge if needed. Furthermore, I can assure you that at nearly 43 - my health has never been better. I will probably live longer than I would have trying to make a buck in a down economy.

I made payroll for 13 years with my last entreprenurial adventure. It started to eat a hole in my gut. Get out there when you can. You'll find work if you want it - stop in any marina. Why wait?

Also - skip the Amel 54 in my opinion. A lot of places you can't pick up a ball or you are going to pay thru the roof for that size at a dock... Trust me - with a boat that expensive you'll not be anchoring next to my German friend for long.

sten

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 04/27/2008 : 11:31:22

Sten: Have you crossed the pond? Is your boat ready for it? Might that be different from port-hopping on the East Coast?

Edited by - on

sweetcraft
Admiral

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USA
816 Posts

Response Posted - 04/27/2008 : 12:27:51

Well, hope I don't kill another thread but I sail solo now. Started with the racing and then the cruising. I believe the best part is the sharing which brings in the whole family. My family gives me space and time for boating, Daughter got me started kayaking and takes me along, Son now has a ski boat and takes me along and then Grand Daughter went with me on the Northwest cruise and I believe can take me now. I know that the best times for us were boating with others and rafting up for the bragging and story telling and of course the beer and what do you have on your boat snacks. It sure is a fun thread to hear how we fit around obstructions to get to sail.

Edited by - on

redviking
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
1771 Posts

Response Posted - 04/28/2008 : 09:31:24

Quote: "Sten: Have you crossed the pond? Is your boat ready for it? Might that be different from port-hopping on the East Coast?"

We have not crossed but Lysistrata has been around twice with the previous owner and his wife. He lived on her for 22 years and yes she is equipped for the passage. Most boats aren't hence the additional expense to make them truly offshore ready. Little things like beefy 3/8th rigging, 250' of manly 3/8th chain and an assortment of anchors, windvane, wind gen, windlass, hydraulic below decks autopilot, solar panels, plenty of water and fuel tankage, SSB with modem packet, electric Barient 32 winches, reefing from the cockpit, multiple alternators, generator, storm sails, lee cloths, pilot berths (which so many modern boats are not equiped with), radar, life raft, EPIRB, jacklines, harnesses, safety equip for the masses, medical kit with $2500 worth of prescription meds including EPI-pens, inhalors for submersion incidents, pain killers, antibiotics ad nauseum....

My point is, going up and down the east coast when on a properly prepared vessel is not cheaper than going across the pond. Sure you'll have to pay when you clear in and you'll probably break something, but your expenses wil still be limited to fuel and food and parts. Our Swedish friends departed Sweden on hull number one and had to completely rebuild her in the US. She was seaworthy, but the rigors of cruising and crossing oceans revealed some problems that needed correction. Even so they saved zillions when compared to buying a new vessel.

If you buy a new Pacific Seacraft 37 it will set you back $275K at least. Now you'll have to get all of the afforementioned equipment installed and even then you'll have poor fuel tankage and no leecloths, etc... Nice boat, seaworthy, but poorly equipped as stock to cross oceans - so yes, it is possible to spend a lot to cross oceans - but it is also possible to buy a boat that already has.

We see folks out doing it with less toys - and there is some substance to the argument that less is easily more in terms of minimizing costs and headaches. But I think we found a nice spot in between. Two heads means two rebuild kits, more piping, more headaches. Too big a boat and people hire captains. We've seen it. Hylas 49 - nice yacht, very capable, needed a captain 'cuz they felt the boat was a bit much to handle. There goes your cruising budget at $500 a day to get to the islands. Then you gotta feed the cap and fly them home! Budgets in this business are a weird thing. There are a lot of folks that are cruising on a lot less....

Wanna go now? Got $25K http://www.chelonidae.blogspot.com/ buy that boat - it's been places on the cheap. Note no refrigeration

.

Great people - try the hummus recipe... Anyhow, life afloat will never be as expensive as life on land. When we left we counted all of the bills we would no longer have to pay. Land line, electricity, gas, water, sewage, cable, car insurance for 2 cars and a motorcycle, payments on said vehicles, mortgage - we still pay it it is just getting paid by our tennants, home insurance - ditto, and the list goes on. We are probably living at $20-25K a year which is easily higher than some who have lived on $8K with a family. My wife still gets her nails done, attends wine tastings and wine education classes, we eat out, we drink out, and we buy crap occasionally. there is only so much stuff you can put aboard. But we all apy th esame overall costs associated with keeping a boat afloat.

sten

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 04/28/2008 : 09:45:31

Sten--the answer to my question is in your first paragraph... and it explains pretty much why I asked. For a crossing, I'd guess you have to be prepared to be on your own out there for at least a month (although you should make the Azores sooner) and be prepared to take whatever weather the N. Atlantic dreams up during that period, from dead doldrums to full gales.

Happy trails!

Edited by - on

SteveRoberts
1st Mate

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USA
45 Posts

Response Posted - 04/29/2008 : 14:07:03

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Hmmm.... we have found the opposite. Rather than pursuing professional endeavors forever - read treadmill - we decided to go cruising and rent our house but essentially leave landlife behind.

It's cheaper!<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">

Warning: thread hijack coming. Feel free to not read; my feelings won't be hurt.

Sten, I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. If cruising works for you, more power to you! While I disagree with you I think we're talking about slightly different things.

I agree that once you're all set up, it is indeed cheaper to live aboard. What I was trying to describe is the overall cost of long-distance cruising.

Let's imagine that, starting from oh, say, where I am now...fast forwarded 15 years to about retirement age. I have a house, investments and a C-25 and I want to go sailing.

First question: do I want to get rid of the house? Let's say I decide to keep it so we'll have a place to live when we're done cruising. So I get rid of the little boat, sell or store the furniture and set up to rent the house and have someone manage the property. I'll even concede that I can cover the mortgage payments with rental income. Revenue neutral for argument's sake.

Now the boat. I'll buy a...oh, say 40 foot boat that's been cruised before. Let's upgrade some systems, repair/replace sails and rigging, have stuff like the dinghy, its outboard, the liferaft, windvane and the diesel serviced, etc. Let's call it $150K outlay up front which is arguably a lowball number for most cruisers but I'm cheap.

OK, we go sailing for a couple of years. I'll be generous and say that our cruising costs are 1/2 what they would be if we lived at home. We'll call trips home to see our putative grandkids the equivalent of the traveling we'd have done if we'd stayed home.

Now we're done cruising and sell the boat and move back home. My experience is that you wouldn't get back half of what you put into your boat what with wear and tear and depreciation of costs for new cruising gear that's now well used.

So by my reckoning, I've lost $75K on the boat. Lost another $20K on the 7% annual return I didn't get from that up-front money that was tied up in the boat. Gotta buy furniture and cars, another $20K. Let's say we've saved $40K in living expenses by living on the boat.

That still puts us down $75K on my back-of-the-envelope calculations.

I don't know about you but that's real money to me. That's what I mean by it costing money to go cruising. That doesn't make it bad, as I've said before the experience is well worth it. It just isn't free.

Edited by - on

stampeder
Master Marine Consultant

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1608 Posts

Response Posted - 04/29/2008 : 14:39:17

When you set sail in your theoretical $150K boat, buy one that will have better re-sale value.
Or, finance it and upon your return, put it into a charter pool.
Or, rent/charter one for a year. I discussed renting a 48' boat from an acquantence who said he'd let me have it for $10K for one year - the boat lies St Kitts...as long as he got to use if for 2 weeks during the winter.

There are lots of ways to do it. I enjoyed reading your accounts of blue water sailing, so I have to say that a guy like you that decides to do something, would find a way to go sailing if he really had to.

Edited by - on

Nautiduck
Master Marine Consultant

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USA
3704 Posts

Response Posted - 04/29/2008 : 16:28:50

There are so many ways to enjoy life - probably as many ways as there are people. For some it is the simple life on the hook. For others it is a nice house and weekends on the lake. It is all good.

Edited by - on

Dave Bristle
Master Marine Consultant

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Djibouti
10005 Posts

Response Posted - 04/29/2008 : 22:16:38

<blockquote id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">Originally posted by 1981capri
 [quote] ...I really would like to do a crossing to Hawaii, but I'm thinking finding a crew position for a delivery or something on a good boat might be a better option.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote">Good plan. "Sailing to Hawaii" might sound glamorous, but then you find that you spend three weeks (if you're lucky) gazing at a 360-degree horizon, praying nothing bad happens. And in three weeks, some "weather" will get you. Some love it, some don't.

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